Fitba Roundup: Sniffing gas, divorce parties and World War III

Fitba's been on a bit of a mad one.

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND - OCTOBER 11: A general view of Ibrox Stadium is seen ahead of the EURO 2016 Qualifier match between Scotland and Georgia at Ibrox Stadium on October 11, 2014 in Glasgow, Scotland. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)

Comments

The fitba went on a particularly mad one over the festive period and, as the new year begins, it’s got a bit of a hangover. Thankfully, we’ve still got Nikola Katic sniffing gas, divorce parties, hurtful name-calling and World War III.

With the temperatures so low that even the bravest of Scottish ultra reconsiders taking his ‘tap aff’, the Premiership clubs have all embarked on their winter breaks. It’s a chance for Hearts to stop getting bullied, the Old Firm to disappear for some Dubai sunshine and Hamilton Accies to go to, erm, the Ayrshire coast. Who says being a footballer isn’t glamourous?

Despite the winter break, Rangers are still churning out the content on social, this week asking the players what their favourite smell is. And, for some reason, Katic answered gas:

Bizarre? Yes, although it’s only fair to let the boy sniff what he wants after his Old Firm heroics…

Sadly, with the winter break lasting for another two weeks, fans of top-flight clubs have been left with no choice but to reminisce back to the better times of childhood fitba:

Down in the Championship, it’s been a tough old season for Greenock Morton as they sit just four points off the foot of the table. The poor form appears to have led to some hurtful words from the supporters and their Twitter is far from pleased about it, childishly threatening to block anyone who calls them names:

So, Ton fans, just sit there and smile. They’re doing the best they can and surely League One isn’t that bad?

Did you know the average divorce rate in the UK is 42%? Dunfermline Athletic do, so that’s why their commercial department offers bespoke divorce parties at East End Park. True pioneers of commercial revenue:

You can’t help but wonder if they throw in a free season ticket too for any man or woman now freed from a life of getting dragged around the shops and visiting relatives on a Saturday afternoon…

Despite it being January, no clubs have bothered to sign anyone amusing yet, which is very disappointing. Thankfully, there has been a managerial appointment as Ray McKinnon has resurfaced at League Two Queen’s Park after being sacked by Falkirk back in November.

McKinnon isn’t a particularly popular man, firstly in Morton after abandoning them to join Falkirk, then in Falkirk for being sh*te at managing. He’s a man that trouble seems to follow, with one QP fan noticing the issues the appointment appears to have caused:

In the non-league, we’ve not had any punch ups this week, but there was a good old-fashioned dog on the pitch. Looking at the size of him, you have to wonder who was brave enough to try and fetch him off again:

Just give him a shirt and stick him at the back, you’d be guaranteed a clean sheet.

Fitba. Nuff said.