The fitba went on a particularly mad one over the festive period and, as the new year begins, it’s got a bit of a hangover. Thankfully, we’ve still got Nikola Katic sniffing gas, divorce parties, hurtful name-calling and World War III.
With the temperatures so low that even the bravest of Scottish ultra reconsiders taking his ‘tap aff’, the Premiership clubs have all embarked on their winter breaks. It’s a chance for Hearts to stop getting bullied, the Old Firm to disappear for some Dubai sunshine and Hamilton Accies to go to, erm, the Ayrshire coast. Who says being a footballer isn’t glamourous?
? READY FOR ANYTHING: Gran's homemade soup, vanilla candles and gas.
We find out the important answers in the latest episode of Ready for Anything.
— Rangers Football Club (@RangersFC) January 2, 2020
Bizarre? Yes, although it’s only fair to let the boy sniff what he wants after his Old Firm heroics…
The actual days when you n 10 a yer pals went doon to the 11s pitch first thing in the mornin n played cuppy aw day n only stopping tae jump tae Tesco fur a munch
— andrew barnsley (@AndrewBarnsley5) January 4, 2020
Down in the Championship, it’s been a tough old season for Greenock Morton as they sit just four points off the foot of the table. The poor form appears to have led to some hurtful words from the supporters and their Twitter is far from pleased about it, childishly threatening to block anyone who calls them names:
❗| Whilst we respect and appreciate the views of our fans, any personal attacks or inappropriate language is unaceptable.
We will block any accounts which we deem to not be in the best interest of the club, and in the spirit of constructive challenge and support. #Respect
— Greenock Morton (@Morton_FC) January 5, 2020
So, Ton fans, just sit there and smile. They’re doing the best they can and surely League One isn’t that bad?
Did you know the average divorce rate in the UK is 42%? Dunfermline Athletic do, so that’s why their commercial department offers bespoke divorce parties at East End Park. True pioneers of commercial revenue:
Divorce parties Hahahahahahahahaha https://t.co/dM4fx5Y0U9
— Cami (@CamiCampbell85) January 3, 2020
You can’t help but wonder if they throw in a free season ticket too for any man or woman now freed from a life of getting dragged around the shops and visiting relatives on a Saturday afternoon…
Despite it being January, no clubs have bothered to sign anyone amusing yet, which is very disappointing. Thankfully, there has been a managerial appointment as Ray McKinnon has resurfaced at League Two Queen’s Park after being sacked by Falkirk back in November.
McKinnon isn’t a particularly popular man, firstly in Morton after abandoning them to join Falkirk, then in Falkirk for being sh*te at managing. He’s a man that trouble seems to follow, with one QP fan noticing the issues the appointment appears to have caused:
QP appoint Ray McKinnon. Next day World War 3 starts.
Can’t say we weren’t warned.
— Gall-IBF (@MGallIBF) January 3, 2020
In the non-league, we’ve not had any punch ups this week, but there was a good old-fashioned dog on the pitch. Looking at the size of him, you have to wonder who was brave enough to try and fetch him off again:
Our pitch invader being a good doggo posing after the game! pic.twitter.com/PWAMw7uV85
— Sauchie Juniors FC (@sauchieofficial) January 4, 2020
Just give him a shirt and stick him at the back, you’d be guaranteed a clean sheet.