Arise, Sir Broony: It’s the fitba round-up’s New Year’s honours

How's it taken so long?


The New Year Honours list recognises the achievements and service of extraordinary people across the United Kingdom. From Sir Elton John (who knew his middle name was Hercules by the way? Mental) to Ben Stokes, several famous names have been recognised.

Sadly, with the exception of Rose Reilly – who this year receives an MBE – those selfish list makers appear to have completely forgotten about Scottish football.

Having won Serie A eight times, as well as several other trophies, Rose isn’t a bad choice to fly the fitba flag. However, more recognition is deserved, so here are some more names who should’ve been given the nod:

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1. Andy Robertson – for services to wee guys, Irn-Bru and beautiful left pegs

There’s no stopping our Robbo, is there?

From getting booted out of Celtic aged 15 for being too small to becoming a Liverpool hero, Andy’s shown the world that Scotland could produce ballers if we really wanted to.

2019 was the year Robbo lifted the Champions League trophy as well as coming within a bawhair of the Premiership, which he’s sure to claim in 2020. Top effort from the lad.

West Ham United’s Scottish manager David Moyes celebrates after West Ham United’s English striker Andy Carroll scored his teams first goal during the English Premier League football match between West Ham United and Stoke City at The London Stadium, in east London on April 16, 2018. / AFP PHOTO / Glyn KIRK / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or ‘live’ services. Online in-match use limited to 75 images, no video emulation. No use in betting, games or single club/league/player publications. / (Photo credit should read GLYN KIRK/AFP via Getty Images)

2. David Moyes – for services to gingers, resilience and West Ham

Despite being publicly shamed by Andy Tate, getting sacked by Real Sociedad, threatening to slap a female reporter whilst at Sunderland and almost causing riots in London with his 29% win ratio at West Ham, ‘Moyeseh’ didn’t give up on his dreams and last week returned to the Premier League.

You didn’t think you could get rid of him that easily, did you?

3. The Team Award: Scotland’s Women’s team for services to World Cup dreams, Women’s football and cheering up the Tartan Army

2019 was a landmark year for Scotland. Not the Men’s team – they’ve been pish since the 90s – but the Women’s team went to an actual World Cup.

Not with a case full of Tennent’s on the 13:10 easyJet flight to Paris either, but to compete.

It’s an incredible achievement that deserves not just a place on the list but some statues too. Commission them please, Your Majesty.

4. Scott Brown – for services to shithousery, shaved heads and Celtic

You can’t help but love him. Unless, or course, you’re a Rangers fan, in which case you’re programmed to automatically hate him.

‘Broony’ has now lifted 20 trophies during his time at Parkhead, with 2019 being the year of the treble-treble and a tenth consecutive domestic trophy.

However, and arguably more importantly, all of this comes alongside Brown never once faltering in his commitment to winding people up and providing the patter we all crave.

5. The Lifetime Achievement Award: Dick Campbell – for services to Angus, touchline bans and bunnets

Once described as “a fat Peaky Blinder”, Dick Campbell had an illustrious playing career in Scotland, scoring 11 goals for Cowdenbeath and seven for Brechin.

Ok, so he wasn’t a good player, but he’s undoubtedly Scotland’s greatest ever manager.

Sir Alex who?

Dick has achieved 10 promotions, overseen more than 1300 games and currently has Arbroath holding their own in the Championship: A club punching so far above their weight it’s like watching Prince Philip fight Tyson Fury.

There are too many heroes within Scottish football to celebrate just five, so take a moment this new year to raise a bottle of tonic wine to the many fitba heroes across the country. Cheers.

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