You would think when the only three-time Champions League winner takes the reins of an also-ran club, there would be universal jubilation?
But the only thing more underwhelming than the Everton fans’ reaction to the appointment of Carlo Ancelotti would be the implacable facial expressions of their new boss.
Despite a 24-year-long managerial career, it would appear by looking at Carlo, more blood, sweat and tears have gone into Big Duncan’s wristband.
But I guess supporting Everton is like going to watch a Terminator reboot in the cinema – you start off having high expectations but within 10mins you realise it’s gonna be f**king shite.
Win, lose or draw, Carlo has an expression on his face that’d lead you to believe the wind changed when he was a kid and it really did stick that way.
However, we can confirm this is his natural reaction to the most shocking of situations:
1: Sixth Sense
Carlo, the then Juventus boss, went to see the hotly anticipated 1999 thriller The Sixth Sense. When Bruce Willis was revealed as a ghost, the silver-haired tactician rose to his feet and shouted ‘Told you he was a f**king ghost all along’, showering other cinema-goers with popcorn.
2. Darth Vader
Whilst a domineering midfielder for Roma, Carlo organised a player’s night out to the cinema and took in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, during which the evil mastermind Darth Vader revealed his parentage to Luke Skywalker.
However, before a host of overweight, pony-tailed virgins could rise to their feet in total bewilderment, Carlo shouted ‘I bloody knew it was big Darth along. I knew he was his Da’, much to Brazil legend Falcao’s annoyance.
1980 was a crucial year for Carlo Ancelotti. He’d just left Parma through injury and faced a lengthy spell on the side-lines.
Fortunately, this enabled him catch up on a lot of TV. Like most people, he followed Dallas, and when Bobby came out of the shower, Carlo muttered ‘Are they having a laugh?! Sack the writers’.
4. Shawn Michaels
January 11th, 1992, the world’s most favourite tag team split, when Shawn Michaels gave his life-long partner a little bit of sweet chin music.
The barber-shop window was broken, but not as much as Carlo’s heart, as he had a £20 bet on them winning the tag team belts at Summer Slam ’93.
5. Kanye West
How amazing. Kanye retired from the music scene in 2012 to concentrate on being a whopping great bellend. Let’s respect his request for extra publicity today.
He once invaded the stage one awards ceremony to be greeted by Carlo who told him off then posted to Facebook where he was asking folk to ‘PM x’.