Fitba Roundup: Sturgeon shows true colours, Kelty Hearts win 11-0

Oh, and Alfredo Morelos has been sent off again. What a surprise.

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More Morelos madness, Stephen Robinson swapping Fir Park for Barlinnie, Nicola Sturgeon showing her true colours, Scotland’s fresh hopes for global domination and one man’s story from Kingston to the Kingdom of Fife. Scottish football is at it again.

Trying to avoid mentioning the general election this week is like Dundee United trying to avoid another season in the championship. Try as we might, we just have to accept it and get it over with. Nicola Sturgeon didn’t try very hard to avoid revealing her true colours though, as her somewhat exuberant celebrations were caught on camera earlier this week:

Whilst on the subject of getting caught during exuberant celebrations, Alfredo Morelos netted his 27th goal of the season on Sunday during Rangers’ 2-0 win over Motherwell, before swiftly getting sent off for his “get it up ye” gesture to Motherwell. A late contender for photo of the year? Most definitely:

As the booking was for potentially inciting a riot by winding up supporters, you’d think the police would be on hand to keep everyone calm. Sadly, they were too busy keeping an eye on Motherwell’s Stephen Robinson in the dugout following his arrest on Friday evening. Anything to try and avoid a Sunday shirt at work…

The red card was the sixth of Morelos’ Rangers career and I can’t even begin to imagine how much Don Robertson has just taken home in the SFA Referees’ ‘next person to send off Morelos’ sweepstakes. It’s almost as if they enjoy it:

Daniel Stendel didn’t have the best of starts to his career at Hearts, losing 1-0 at home to St Johnstone and cementing Hearts’ position as, erm, sh*te. His post-match press conference quote of “More hard work than I expected” offers hope of some interesting patter to come, but for now we shall have to rely on the da jokes:

Thankfully, the international games are over for 2019. It was a rough year for Scotland. Well, a rough decade, but there’s hope of a new beginning in 2020. Despite widespread feeling that we lack strikers, we are in fact gifted in that department. That is because Jordan Rhodes and Steven Fletcher combined to bang in four first half goals for Sheffield Wednesday v Nottingham Forest on Saturday:

Now, you may be thinking I’ve lost the plot, but hear me out. They scored four v Nottingham Forest. Nottingham Forest are 2x European Champions. That means they’re Europe’s best striking partnership. Give them a jersey and we won’t just qualify for Euro 2020, I believe we’ll win it. Like Liverpool, it seems 2020 will FINALLY be our year. Alba gu bràth.

Continuing the theme of international players, Lowland League leaders Kelty Hearts have signed former Jamaica international Chris Humphrey. Kelty have previously been compared to Salford City as they appear to be buying their non-league success. Is there even a shred of evidence to back up that claim? Nope, they’re barely scraping by based on Saturday’s result:

Fitba? Fitba! Fitbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa