Fitba Round-up: Wild stags, goal-scoring keepers and an Old Firm final

What a week it was in Scottish football!


An Old Firm cup final, goalscoring goalies, more love for Craig Levein and what chest size are those shorts? It’s another wonderful week in Scotland.

Raith Rovers’ Ross Matthews learnt a harsh lesson over the weekend after scoring the winner in his side’s 1-0 win over Airdrie.

What was that lesson? Don’t joke around in front of your media team. They’ll use anything. Especially this:

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One media team who weren’t joking around was up at Brechin City. Covering a team who are on course for their third consecutive relegation must mean you don’t expect many goals. I’m surprised they even have goal gifs given their form.

Anyway, fair play to them as they were ready to go on Saturday when their goalie – yes, goalie – scored from deep inside his own half:

Thought Scottish football was just a bunch of amateurs? Wrong. That’s a level of attention to detail that can only be applauded and, as you obviously want to see it, here’s the goal:

Talking of amateurs however, and here arrives the now weekly Hearts section. They’ve added two more embarrassing performances to their record this last week and fans are (still) far from amused:

The worst part here is the continuous slander of the great Craig Levein. The team have picked up just one win in six since his departure, clearly demonstrating it’s not his fault.

Thankfully, while Hearts Rant has overstepped the mark, many Hearts fans are still remembering their hero fondly:

Sadly, the club announced the arrival of Daniel Stendel on Saturday, so they might now improve and stop being so funny.

Saying that, if you look at the bitterness of the press release, the appointment screams of flirting desperately in the taxi rank after being pied by the woman you’ve been chatting up all night:

There was the small matter of the Old Firm Cup Final on Sunday and, while the game itself was fairly disappointing, the outrage it caused on social media was superb. Seeing as how emotions are very high, 99% of the content contains language unsuitable for this post, or any public place for that matter. Sorry.

Alfredo Morelos continued his drought against Celtic, despite having already netted 25 times this season, and you have to ask if he’ll be ok when he gets back to his bed later.

We all know what his dreams – or nightmares – will look like:

Nevermind, at least when he wakes up in a cold sweat and checks his phone, his mind will be put at ease. Or not:

Celtic’s victory does raise one important issue though. It turns out the only team that can stop their dominance is, erm, Dundee United:

Flawless logic here. Let’s just hope that they manage to get promoted at the fourth time of asking.

Down in the Highland League, Fort William are having the time of their lives this season having picked up TWO wins. It might not sound a lot, but it’s two more than they managed over the previous two seasons.

They could be set to add some more soon, having invited a few triallists along last week. Rumour has it they’re hoping to add more of a physical presence to their midfield:

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What do you think?