Given Halloween has only just been and gone, you’d think part-time Dracula lookalike Unai Emery would be in a pretty good mood still. However, the master of mispronounced salutations is far from a happy man right now.
From captaincy crises to terrible tactics and shambolic substitutions, his Gunners side are relentlessly lurching from disaster to debacle.
Under the Spaniard’s guidance, Arsenal have now made their worst start to a season since 1982, with fans calling for his immediate sacking.
But keep your chin up, Unai. Despite what the #EmeryOut mob are saying, you’re not the worst Premier League manager in history (yet). Far from it…
Paul Jewell – Derby (2007-08)
With a Premier League win percentage of a whopping 0% from his 24 games, Jewell is statistically the division’s worst-ever manager.
Talk about footballing claims to fame, eh?
Jewell’s tortured tenure also saw a number of embarrassments unfold, including setting Derby’s club record number of games without victory; the Premier League’s earliest relegation and record low points haul; suffering a leaked sex tape; and worst of all making Robbie Savage his first signing as manager.
Alan Shearer – Newcastle (2009)
This one will be music to Michael Owen’s ears. Let’s just say it’s somewhat fitting that the announcement of Alan Shearer as boss of his hometown club – parachuted in to try and save them from relegation – came on April Fool’s Day.
Shearer won just one of his eight games in charge, losing five, and oversaw the relegation of his beloved Newcastle to end their 16-year stay in the top flight.
At least Unai will avoid the ignominy of relegating Arsenal this year. If he’s lucky.
Frank de Boer – Crystal Palace (2017)
The arrival of Frank de Boer at Selhurst Park heralded the start of a bold new era for the Eagles, as they sought to make the step up from perennial relegation candidates to an established top-half team. That era lasted just 77 days.
The Dutchman – who previously guided Ajax to four Eredivisie titles – lost all four of his Premier League encounters, his side not scoring a single goal in the process.
Despite signing a three-year contract, de Boer instead became the division’s shortest-serving manager in terms of matches played. We guess that’s what happens when you ask Christian Benteke to play total football.
John Carver – Newcastle (2015)
It seems almost unfair to include another boss of the Premier League’s original banter club, Newcastle, but we’d be done under the Trade Descriptions Act if we didn’t include John Carver’s quite remarkable reign in this list.
Geordie John garnered three defeats and a draw while caretaker and pleaded with the club to find a proper gaffer, but of course, that didn’t stop maverick Mike Ashley appointing him as manager anyway. He promptly oversaw a club-record eight straight league defeats, before claiming he was “the best coach in the Premier League” while somehow keeping a straight face.
Newcastle inexplicably avoided relegation, but Carver was soon sent packing, presumably with a giant Sports Direct mug in tow.
Steve Wigley – Southampton (2004)
With his crude bowl haircut and permanently bemused expression, Steve Wigley better resembled a weary supply PE teacher rather than a Premier League manager. That’s probably a career that suited him better, too.
His only previous managerial experience had come at non-league Aldershot, but that didn’t stop the Saints giving him the job full-time following the departure of Paul Sturrock.
He went on to lose half of his 14 games in charge, picking up just one win. Ironically that came against fierce rivals Portsmouth – the club at which Wigley made his name as a player – but even a derby day win can’t save your skin in that scenario.
Remi Garde – Aston Villa (2015/16)
It’s always a challenge when you arrive at a club in mid-season. Saying that, it’s a task made infinitely easier when you’re only following in the footsteps of Tim Sherwood.
But, despite that advantage, it still all went to absolute merde for the Frenchman.
He lost 12 of his 20 league games at the helm, winning just two, and was sacked just weeks before the Villans’ embarrassing rock bottom relegation was confirmed. Oh, and he also conspired to fall out with the team’s mercurial midfield hero, Jack Grealish. Sound familiar, Unai?
Terry Connor – Wolves (2012)
Another member of the zero Premier League wins club, things didn’t really go to plan for Connor after he stepped up at Molineux in February 2012.
He was unable to arrest the club’s disastrous slump in form and achieved just four draws in his 13 games as manager in route to relegation, shipping 33 goals in the process.
With a record like that, it’s surely only a matter of time until Unai Emery makes him Arsenal’s defensive coach.