If there’s one thing to be learned from the last week of Scottish football, it’s that seven days is a very long time.
With Celtic and Rangers both producing the goods in Europe on Thursday night, you’d be forgiven for overlooking everything else, but thankfully it’s all here: A President, DJ Krissy, Ballon d’Or contenders and poor photoshop skills.
From Kanye & Trump to Snoop Dogg & Martha Stewart, you see some odd friendship duos. Scottish football added to the list of “wait, what?” friendships, as Celtic’s Greg Taylor received birthday wishes from the Albanian President. See what’s going down here.
Now, assuming they didn’t go to school together and they didn’t meet in Zante last summer, it can only mean Mr Meta was impressed with Taylor’s commitment to patter after he signed for Celtic despite being an Ibrox season ticket holder.
You can only applaud that.
Moving on to Thursday night and both Glasgow clubs picked up big Europa League wins. It was a great night for Scottish football, and one that should be treasured and documented so generations to come can recall the occasion.
So, what did we do? We took Alfredo’s goal and slapped DJ Krissy’s banger over the top of it. Watch it here.
Our grandchildren are going to have a great time in their history classes fifty years from now.
Friday night’s Dundee derby was a stark contrast to the 6-2 thriller back in August.
United picked up a comfortable 2-0 win at Dens Park as the home side were pretty poor, with their only contribution to the game being a tweet in which they accidentally typed s**t instead of shot:
They subsequently deleted it, obviously hoping to forget the entire night. You might as well have enjoyed the cheap laugh if nothing else was worth celebrating, lads.
Hibs, inspired by their need to one-up Hearts at everything, swiftly followed Levein’s departure by booting Heckingbottom out the door. In an interesting turn of events, both teams decided to compete for the greatest resurrection we’ve seen for over 2000 years, picking up 5-2 and 4-1 wins on Saturday.
It’s fairly obvious that the key takeaway from this is that managers are useless, a waste of time & money and surplus to requirements.
Hibs fans had been very angry with striker Christian Doidge recently, as the £300,000 man couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo after his summer move from Forest Green Rovers. The big man was without a goal in nine league appearances before Saturday.
Thankfully though, it’s now clear that he just hated Heckingbottom, he does what he wants and he can in fact hit barn boors with banjos, footballs, stray pigeons or just about anything as he netted a hat-trick on Saturday.
Did the goals lead to Hibs fans getting a little carried away? It’s not for me to say:
Chrissy Doidge Ballon d’or. pic.twitter.com/DbSU86LJrJ
— HibsChat (@HibernianChat) November 9, 2019
One of the most important things a club can do, especially in the lower leagues, is make itself as attractive as possible for potential sponsors, partners, guests and whatnot. Sadly, for League Two Stennie, the slight airbrushing of their hospitality suite – which put the pitch at Ochilview behind a suite at Old Trafford – has been, erm, noticed.
They have since deleted the tweet, but not before Falkirk jumped on the bandwagon to take a swing:
— Falkirk FC (@FalkirkFC) November 6, 2019
Falkirk then proceeded to lose the above game and now sit fourth in League One. I don’t think they’re in any position to be making jokes right now…