This week in Scotland has seen the first manager out the door, confirmation of an Old Firm cup final, Morelos’ face, the joy of Scottish football spreading to politics and more honest reviews from club accounts.
By now it’s common knowledge that both Hearts and Hibs are shite.
We’ve all been having a good laugh about it but sadly Hearts have ruined it all by getting rid on Craig Levein. Well, not getting rid of Craig Levein, but moving him slightly further back from the pitch so he can still linger like a bad smell:
Club Statement: Craig Levein has been relieved of his duties as first-team manager
— Heart of Midlothian FC (@JamTarts) October 31, 2019
He’s been a fantastic servant for Scottish football patter, and I’d like to take a moment of silence to remember the great man……
Thankfully, his memory lives on as Hearts continued to be sh**e in Sunday’s cup semi-final, losing 3-0 to Rangers. So sh**e in fact, that before they’d even kicked a ball, the fans wanted Levein back:
— Liam Stachini (@LiamStachini) November 3, 2019
I want him back too. Please Hearts, sacrifice yourselves for the greater good. Scottish football needs Craig Levein.
On the subject of good, Alfredo Morelos picked up a double in the win, taking his tally for the season to 20. It turns out he’s actually quite good at scoring goals when he’s not spending half a season sat in the stands suspended.
I think it’s only fair, in recognition of his achievements on the park, we completely ignore them and focus on his many wonderful facial expressions. Check them out here.
Of course, Celtic’s win over Hibs ensured we’ll have an Old Firm cup final, opening the door to the latest Still Game reaction tweet:
— Marc (@marcmcb11) November 3, 2019
Down in the lower leagues, Annan didn’t have the best day at the office, as their 509-mile round trip ended with a 4-0 defeat. In true Scottish football style, they didn’t shy away from the performance on Twitter, instead announcing, in a slightly more PG manner, that they’re terrible:
It's fair to say we've been battered in the first 45 minutes at Borough Briggs. The hosts have had 15 shots at goal to Annan's nil.
— Annan Athletic FC (@AnnanAthleticFC) November 2, 2019
In the “well, we didn’t expect that” category this week we have a battle for top spot with two completely bizarre events.
Firstly, we have former Scotland and Rangers defender Russell Martin being announced as the new MK Dons manager. Now, we’ve had such a long line of shite Scottish centre backs in recent times that they all just merge into one and I’m not entirely sure which one he is, so here’s a great response from Twitter so summarise:
— CalWat (@CalWat) November 3, 2019
Lastly, we have Tony Watt, the “I once scored the winner for Celtic v Barcalona” striker, deciding that playing football in Bulgaria and being a YouTuber isn’t enough, so he’s now branched out into politics too, and it’s got us all talking:
Tony Watt bodying Lyle Taylor over marginal tax rates was not what I expected to see this morning.
— Ross McCafferty (@RossMcCaff) November 3, 2019
It’s just a shame that this argument with Charlton’s Lyle Taylor has distracted the footballing world from the true things that matter, such as Partick Thistle, and specifically manager Ian McCall, getting pumped 4-1 by Ayr United, the team he recently left to take over at Firhill. You love to see it.