Dirty-minded twitter admins, dirty-minded goalkeepers and dirty-minded fans with wild conspiracy theories. It’s just another week in the SPFL.
Arbroath and Partick Thistle started the weekend’s action with a 1-1 draw in the Championship on Friday night. There wasn’t much to report from the game, but it did raise a question… what do players do on a Saturday without a game?
Arbroath’s ‘keeper, Derek Gaston, appears to answer that question quite well with this tweet…
Iv just seen someone saying that the Chicago bulls logo is a robot shagging a crab if you turn it upside down and I can’t unsee it now pic.twitter.com/wN2t5xoZWW
— Derek Gaston (@dgaston_1) September 14, 2019
It turns out they have too much time on their hands and sit on the internet thinking about the stupidest little things. Still, a robot shagging a crab probably isn’t the strangest sight you’d see in Arbroath on a Saturday night.
Back in 2017, Inverness Caledonian Thistle’s Twitter admin got a lot of heat on Twitter for accidentally liking a tweet they probably shouldn’t have. The X-rated mishap gave everyone a good laugh and, two years later, Scottish football had almost forgotten about it. That is until Keith did the exact same thing last weekend, of course.
Sadly for Keith, they’re a Highland League football team and not just a dirty old man, so it didn’t go unnoticed. Eagle eyed league rivals Lossiemouth didn’t want them to get away with it either, posting out this cheeky tweet…
— Lossiemouth FC (@lossiemouthfc) September 14, 2019
The big question here is what is it with them in the highlands? Have they not heard of a private browser?
Moving away from the theme of adult content now (thankfully) and Ayr United’s 2-0 win over Dundee United proved pleasing for several reasons.
Firstly, everyone got a good laugh. Secondly, it made the Championship a bit more interesting and thirdly, it gave Ayr’s Manager a glorious opportunity to throw some shade…
Incredible from McCall. Neilson has been burned alive here. pic.twitter.com/i5zSd4g0rv
— itzdrk (@itzdrk) September 14, 2019
It’s always nice to see managers having a pop at each other and, with their teams facing each other three more times this season, we live in hope that the beef continues next time round. Personally, I’d like to see Shankland score five in the next game and celebrate by doing an Adebayor. We live in hope.
Talking of scoring five, it was a good day for Clyde and David Goodwillie. The striker netted five in his team’s 6-1 win, including a hattrick of penalties. Scottish football prides itself on offering this kind of entertainment every week.
Brechin and Cove also thought about offering punters that value for money, before deciding to only actually try for 36 minutes. I mean, it was 4-2 by that point, but why stop there when it could have easily been 7-7? Frauds.
Last, but by no means least, we turn our attention to the capital and Hearts. Everyone can see the problem, apart from one woman. The club’s even taking drastic action to silence fans…
Banning someone for voicing there opinion on levein…. that’s how much that old boot is ruining our club. BUDGE OUT 😡
— Kieran Tant (@KieranTant) September 12, 2019
Sadly for Hearts, that ‘old boot’ is the one in charge. Still, it’s a good laugh isn’t it?
It also begs the question, why is Budge so hesitant to sack Levein, despite the poor form and unrest among the Gorgie Faithful? I’d like to think Greg’s spot on with his prediction…
Reporter – "Do you think your job is at risk?"
Levein – "No, not at all."
He definitely has photos of Ann Budge at a swingers party taking lines of ching off a midget's erect penis. FACT. 😂😂😂
— Greg Martin 🎧 (@gregmartin1982) September 14, 2019
Still, it could be worse, they could be playing Hibs next weekend. Oh, wait…