It’s taken a few days to recover from derby weekend across Scotland, when rivals across the country battled it out for bragging rights, points and the ability to tweet funny things at their opposite numbers.
This week’s round-up begins with the “only one derby that counts this weekend”. Nope, that’s not the Old Firm and it’s not the Dundee Derby, it’s Bathgate Thistle v Armadale Thistle in the East Region Cup. Not only are the two towns side by side, they couldn’t even agree on who got to use the name Thistle. Love it.
You’ve got to give credit to Bathgate, having tried to rally the troops for the big game after a few disappointing results. Sadly, their William Wallace style hype job didn’t work – or perhaps worked too well – as they were reduced to ten men after 15 minutes. It was all downhill from there too, and the poor admin wasn’t happy…
60 mins – I'll let you guess what's happened….
Bathgate 0 – 5 Armadale
Complete and utter embarrassment
— Bathgate Thistle FC (@bathgatethistle) August 31, 2019
The game ended 7-1, with the home side finishing with nine men and the smell of shame lingering in the Bathgate air. Oh well, at least they’ve got Lewis Capaldi giving the town a good name.
If eight goals is what you look for in a derby, look no further than Friday night under the lights at Tannadice. The recent laughing stock of Scottish football, Dundee United, might be on to a winner this season as they pumped rivals Dundee 6-2 to maintain their 100% start to the season.
I don’t think it quite makes up for the time Dundee relegated them all those years ago, but the fans seemed to enjoy it none the less…
— Matthew Dempsey (@mattie_spain) August 30, 2019
Sadly, the derby was let down by a lack of red cards, but I think a penalty conceded via a diving headbutt might make up for it. Not a good night for the navy side of Dundee…
Lot of highlights there, but hard to look beyond Dundee giving away a penalty with a head first sliding tackle. pic.twitter.com/Gcb7yNDqaw
— Neil Forsyth (@mrneilforsyth) August 30, 2019
Let’s be honest, the Old Firm was a bit of a disappointment. With Celtic’s shaky start and Rangers seemingly stronger than ever, everyone had glued themselves to the TV for the big game.
When I say everyone, I really do mean everyone, even if they had to make an excuse…
Pope freed by firefighters after being stuck in Vatican lift https://t.co/TwihOlLBlN
— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld) September 1, 2019
Celtic did what Celtic tend to do, winning the game and easing the tension that had been building around Paradise. The result also reminding Rangers they still have work to do to keep up. Saying that, it was arguably Rangers’ worst performance for a long time, and Scott Arfield went to extreme lengths to hide his embarrassing performance….
Scott Arfield tried to pull Ntcham’s shorts down so he wasn’t the biggest tadger on show today x
— ᴾᴬᵁᴸᴰᴼᶜᴷ (@PaulDock93) September 1, 2019
Sticking with the Old Firm duo, and after Rangers had been told off by UEFA for singing naughty songs, their fans had to be on their best behaviour during Thursday night’s Europa League Qualifier. What did Legia Warsaw do? Produce ex-Celtic ‘keeper Artur Boruc in the away end…
Artur Boruc back at Ibrox. pic.twitter.com/iYIbyLgp7F
— CelticBible-Bolingoli (@CelticBible) August 29, 2019
As if that wasn’t enough to wind up the home support, they also produced a giant banner of the Pope. It didn’t work, as Rangers scored an injury-time winner to book their place in the group stages, but if you put two and two together you get a great bit of dedication to the patter…
Tenner Boruc paid for this. https://t.co/wpKDsF5VMB
— McGBolingoli (@carfenian) August 29, 2019
Dom Gall’s Scottish Saturday Treble – now with added Caramel Wafers!
It’s the international week now but thankfully the Tunnock’s Caramel Wafer Challenge Cup comes to Scottish football’s rescue – even though half the teams aren’t Scottish. Here’s a treble to feast on: