Six years ago this week David Moyes sat down in that Carrington chair for the first and wondered “what the f*ck am I doing here?!”
He’d been given a half-dozen year contract on the word of Sir Alex Ferguson, who must’ve surely been indulging his passion for vino when the idea crossed his mind that the man whose only silverware as a manager was a Division 2 title with Preston 15 years before was the right man to take over the reins at Old Trafford. Not that Ed Woodward and the Glazers were concerned, judging by the length of term they signed off on for “The Chosen One”.
At the time, the decision looked about as nuts as the world could get, but the time since has shown us how it was just a sign of things to come. Here’s what the world looked like back then for some people who’d go on to shape the following years.
Trump keeping his hair on
Just as Moyesy was getting fitted out for his United blazer – hope he kept the receipt – Donald Trump was dealing with far more pressing concerns. First and foremost, his hair and its authenticity.
Everytime someone tweets that I wear a wig realize to yourself that you are dealing with "them" – just another sad & lonely hater and loser!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 30, 2013
And though he may have waylaid the trolls with his razor-sharp online putdowns, he was finding Northeastern Scotland’s environmental plans a lot tougher to push aside as he sought to shut down a plan for wind turbines near his golf course.
Fortunately, not much has happened in the intervening six years to put him in charge of major decisions that could impact on the planet’s future rather than just 18-holes in the highlands…
Vardy party delayed
The Leicester City miracle was still but a deranged twinkle in the eye of then-Monaco manager Claudio Ranieri and Andrea Bocelli had yet to hear of the midlands’ club back in the summer of 2013.
Even Jamie Vardy’s faith in his powers to reach the pinnacle of English football must’ve been wavering after his first season at the King Power Stadium, where he scored just four league goals in 26 appearances for the Foxes after scrapping his way to the Championship from working in a factory while playing part-time.
Though already making her name as a TV performer in Suits by 2013, the future Mrs Harry Windsor was still the current Mrs Trevor Engelson back on July 1st, 2013 and was nowhere near the level of daily celeb-gossip adoration and speculation she would reach when she clambered aboard the royal bandwagon.
It would be just a few weeks before she would legally split from her TV producer husband, clearing the path for Meghan and the ginger prince to one day meet and live out their dream of smiling and nodding politely as they meet with random members of the general public.
Johnson’s country practice
While his spirit animal Trump was still building a base through social media, Boris had already charmed the public with his TV foppery and fear of the EU banana regulations enough to earn elected office in 2013 as mayor of London.
Back then he was urging residents of the capital to take up some traditional countryside pursuits in an effort to cull the urban fox population.
Boris Johnson wants fox hunts in the capital to keep their numbers under control http://t.co/chHcd4UD9F
— Metro (@MetroUK) June 13, 2013
So, in six years he’s gone from pro-hunts to anti-Hunt. What a journey.
The blue-sky thinker is now set to be Prime Minister.
That should go well.
Jones and Smalling stealing a living
While United have become a byword for Premier League directionless malaise since the moment Moyesy put pen to paper on the six-year stint, the pair who were supposed to follow in the line of Bruce and Pallister, Vidic and Ferdinand, and Stam and… Ronny Johnsen, have clung to the club like the face-suckers from Alien, and with just as disastrous consequences.
The more things change, the more they stay the same…
Both signed new contracts during the last campaign too. Maybe Moyes could’ve learned something from his centre-halves – or at least copied the files from the flash drive that they’re using to blackmail Ed Woodward into keeping them at the club.