Dear Dychey: Wild rants from the boss have left my ears ringing

What's Pep so mad about? Those closest to him might be able to tell you if their hearing wasn't destroyed by his ferocious rants.

Pep Guardiola Mikel Arteta


*Dear Dychey is Paddy Power’s Agony Aunt column. Any apparent resemblance to any figures in sport is purely coincidental.

Dear Dychey,

Following a year of ceaseless barracking by my boss I’ve been left functionally deaf in one ear.

The guy is absolutely brilliant, and this is a great opportunity to learn, but he just never shuts up!?

I don’t want to get on his bad-side – that could be the two ears gone – but I need to do something about it.

Manchester City’s Spanish manager Pep Guardiola (R) and assistant coach Mikel Arteta take part in a training session on the eve of the UEFA Champions League first leg quarter-final football match between Liverpool and Manchester City, at Anfield stadium in Liverpool, north west England on April 3, 2018. / AFP PHOTO / Paul ELLIS (Photo credit should read PAUL ELLIS/AFP/Getty Images)

The last three months especially have been a nightmare. He’s just relentless when he gets going.

‘See, I told you Fabian Delph was a left-back, you see? YOU SEE?! DO YOU F**KING SEE?!? I TOLD YOU THAT! ME!!”

‘Livestreaming from where at 5am?! WHERE IS MENDY’S BRAIN?! DIOS MIO.’


He can’t stop even when we’re winning, and we’re winning all the bloody time!

They changed the type of biscuit you get with a coffee in the canteen and he just lost it. The tea lady’s lined up for counselling.

I get into the office at 6.30 every morning just to gather up any newspapers and throw them in the bin or he’s off on one for the day.

It’s all taken a toll on my hearing – he just shouts and shouts during games.

And it sounds even louder cos our ground’s usually half empty.

I’ve got to do something now though. I’m dreading preseason already! And I can’t understand what people are saying – not always a bad thing when Mendy’s around.

My boss is a genius and an inspiration but my mind and body cannot cope.


Mike A.

LONDON, ENGLAND – APRIL 09: Josep Guardiola, Manager of Manchester City gives his team instructions during the UEFA Champions League Quarter Final first leg match between Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester City at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on April 09, 2019 in London, England. (Photo by Dan Mullan/Getty Images)

Dr Dychey says:

Mike, the price of working with genius can often be excessive demands. Sir Alex Ferguson, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, these are titans in their field and when you expect a lot of yourself, you often expect more from others – and occasionally their eardrums.

Ask David Beckham how his furrowed brow felt after Fergie booted him in the chops. He’d have still stayed at United but the manager had had enough of celebs, sarongs and golden balls.

Or what about everyone who had to face “The Hairdryer” back in the day.

Did Eric Cantona or Roy Keane cry off every time their ears popped because of a Ferguson flare-up?

They didn’t, and look at the well-rounded personalities they’ve become.

When you’re at the top, you’ve a massive bulls-eye on your back and everyone fancies themselves as Phil Taylor – though usually they’re less sneery.

Just as The Power learned at the knee of Eric Bristow only to surpass his mentor, you must take this opportunity to build your reputation and resilience to the football’s slings and arrows.

What better way to do that than being shouted at by an ADHD-afflicted architect in a cardigan from Aldi?

The best advice I can give you is stick with it. The longer you last the more likely it is you’re the one who can rant on and on and others have to listen. Invest in earplugs and suck it up… or whatever the auditory equivalent is. It’ll be worth it in the long run.

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What do you think?