Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past week or so, you’ll be aware that HBO’s mega-series Game of Thrones has returned to our screens.
Devotees have waited almost two years for this moment and won’t hesitate to discuss at length the difficulty Sansa Stark is likely to have with allocating food resources in the northlands as the Great War unfolds. Haters will loudly and happily proclaim that they’ve never watched a single episode.
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) April 14, 2019
Unfortunately for the latter, Paddy Power News is a fully signed-up member of the Thrones fanboy/girl club. Which means we’ve been spending a bit of time trying to come up with some sweet, sweet Thrones-related football content for you.
“Five Reasons Lee Cattermole Is Really Azor Ahai, The Prince That Was Promised”? Nah, too niche. “27 Game Of Thrones Characters Who Would Be Better Defenders Than Phil Jones?” Nah, too easy. “If places from Game of Thrones were football stadia, here’s what they’d be”? Bingo.
WINTERFELL – Old Trafford
Slightly crumbling, dilapidated, hasn’t seen much glory in recent times, but still an iconic northern powerhouse despite a leadership vacuum at the top.
Ruled for decades by a beloved, successful and occasionally ruthless leader but plunged into uncertainty after he departed. Recently taken over by a power-obsessed bastard who loved to make people suffer.
RT if you really miss Ramsay Bolton. pic.twitter.com/y434CTeiLP
— Shiv Aroor (@ShivAroor) April 16, 2019
Now back in the hands of some familiar faces from the old days returning from a long exile.
THE EYRIE – The Emirates
Looks impressive, but largely empty and devoid of atmosphere.
Formerly presided over by an intelligent, tolerant and popular reformer who influenced many across the world. It now tends to be on the periphery when the going gets tough.
Occasionally, it pops up as semi-relevant in the greater scheme of things, but unlikely to be the scene of a great triumph any time soon.
i aM lOrD pRoTeCtOr of tHe vAlE & I cOmMaNd yOu tO eScOrT mE sAfElY bAcK tO tHe EyRiE pic.twitter.com/WIpl1wx1Y7
— kobbs. (@Kobby_Skywalker) August 28, 2017
BRAAVOS – Parc Des Princes
Its owners have all the money in the world, but still mostly struggle to make an impact on the global theatre, despite repeated efforts to recruit big-name stars from better-known stages.
Their wealth comes from questionable origins, and you suspect there’s something dark lurking beneath the surface. The place is strongly associated with the presence of highly paid mercenaries.
When Cersei heard the Golden Company didn’t bring elephants pic.twitter.com/Sk3bGV4jMJ
— Isaac Acosta (@imacosta3400) April 15, 2019
HARDHOME – Hampden Park
Eternally freezing, though locals seem to be totally immune to the ice-cold temperatures.
North of the wall, its citizens hate those from the south. Things can get a bit spicy when visitors show up.
the Night King really didn’t need to snap this hard at hardhome 😭🥵 pic.twitter.com/QV6vfMkuSK
— mos def. (@sbuhlanguza) April 13, 2019
VALYRIA- San Siro
Home to great stories and teams of yore, but now a rundown monument to populated by football’s forgotten and disregarded men.
Has become a bit of a backwater in the modern era, but still retains iconic status for many who miss the old days.
S5E5 – WE NEED A PREQUEL ABOUT THE DOOM OF VALYRIA! pic.twitter.com/uHjiZ9dRXg
— tee (@drinkingtee) April 10, 2019
WEMBLEY – King’s Landing
Opulent yet somehow sh*t and very soulless capital city stronghold.
People only go there if they have to, or if they’ve done something to deserve it. Nevertheless, it’s still the object of affection for many.