The self-titled ‘greatest mind in football’ has finally landed a job, at Macclesfield Town. So, apart from Champions League glory in five years’ time, what can the Silkmen expect from Sol?
The job offer from Real Madrid may have mysteriously got lost in the post, but the Merengues’ loss is Macclesfield’s gain after they landed Sol Campbell on an 18-month contract.
Macclesfield may be sitting rock bottom of League Two, four points from safety, but their fans can rest assured that they are headed for the big time.
Success is certain, but what will Sol bring to Moss Rose on his first foray into the world of management?
A beautiful mind
I believe it was Sol Campbell who once remarked that Sol Campbell has one of the greatest minds in football. I believe it was also Sol Campbell who labelled Sol Campbell ‘one of the best in the world’ at his first Macclesfield press conference.
Us mere mortals can only try in vain to imagine the kind of tactical genius that we will witness when Sol takes the reins at Macclesfield.
Maybe we’ll see the pioneering use of a 10-0-0 formation, maybe he’ll invent an entirely new form of football that supersedes tiki taka and gegenpress?
Maybe we’ll never fully understand Sol’s work at Macclesfield and it’ll be the lucky academics of 2090 who finally truly appreciate its genius.
Intense team talks
Who can forget Sol’s ever so slightly creepy preview of the 2017 FA Cup final and his bizarre, almost sensual, stream of consciousness Instagram videos?
Whenever Sol speaks it’s captivating in a kind of ‘is this a joke or has he gone quite literally insane’ way, so his players will need to master the art of biting your lip and avoiding making eye contact with anyone else in the room pretty fast.
We can expect Macclesfield’s players to sit at the feet of the great guru and listen to his wisdom, but it’s doubtful that any humble League Two player could ever process more than 1% of what Sol says.
Leave for Altrincham
At Christmas time, having transformed Macclesfield’s fortunes, we can expect to see Sol suddenly making the shock move to Altrincham, being swayed by the bright lights of Moss Lane.
The Macclesfield Ultras will be up in arms and it takes a brave man to cross the Cheshire-Greater Manchester divide, few have done it and lived to tell the tale. Or maybe they have, but nobody listened.
We can expect a pig’s head or two to be thrown when Macclesfield face Alty in pre-season and Sol to be openly booed in the car park at Waitrose in Wilmslow.
Alternatively, Sol’s big break in politics finally arrives when the Conservatives make a swoop to replace under-fire Theresa May.
Sol’s exploits at a seemingly lost cause struggling for results and losing the faith of even its most staunch supporters make him the ideal man for the job and in his unveiling press conference where he proudly holds up the scarf of the relegation-threatened Conservative Party he asserts that he’s ‘one of the greatest minds in politics’.
After a string of tough results against Labour, Campbell leaves by mutual consent and is immediately offered a three-year deal by the Liberal Democrats.