When it was announced that ‘Arry was headed for Australia, most of us presumed that he had an offer from the A-League rather than ‘I’m A Celebrity’, but it may be the perfect new challenge for the journeyman manager.
Let’s face it, eating kangaroo testicles for the braying masses certainly beats taking on the Fulham job.
Besides, Harry’s managerial career has shown that he has all the skills he needs for surviving in the Australian wilderness.
So we’d back the canny tactician to do just enough to get a result in the Outback. He should at least avoid relegation to Love Island anyway.
Even being in the Aussie wilderness miles from a bar of signal surely won’t stop Harry constantly having to call a man about a dog.
We can expect to see a distracted Harry answering a string of tense phone calls for the first day or so in the jungle and barking one-line orders down the line.
Then, on day two, Niko Kranjcar will come parachuting in to take on any of the trials that Harry doesn’t fancy. To be honest, the Croatian probably doesn’t have much else on these days.
We understand that negotiations are still underway with the show’s producers to allow Redknapp to do the entire show through his car window.
We all know that Redknapp is a master of man management – a gifted leader of men and an inspirational speaker, blessed with the knack of diplomacy under pressure.
When he’s needed to give a pep talk to a fellow camper or gee his team up for a challenge, we can expect Harry to use all the subtlety he showed when he referred to Adel Taarabt as ‘three stone overweight’ in a press conference.
Plus, Redknapp’s strategic nous will be a massive advantage. This is the man who once told Roman Pavlyuchenko to ‘f****ing run about a bit’, that kind of insight could make all the difference in a Bushtucker Trial.
You ever hear the story about how Roman Pavlyuchenko, still learning English, asked Harry Redknapp what to do during a game and Harry went "Just fucking run about a bit"
— Carl Anka (@Ankaman616) November 11, 2018
Cold as ice
We all know that Harry is ice cool when the unexpected happens.
Whether it’s a ball beaming him in the back of head during a training session or David Bentley dumping an ice bucket over him, ‘Arry can be counted on to keep up his poker face.
So we can rest assured that should he have to face a shower of worms, Redknapp will remain steely and aloof rather than telling the cameraman he’s going to drop him to the reserves or having the floor manager killed (which is what we presume happened to Bentley).
Talks to the animals
It’s unlikely that the producers will allow Redknapp to bring his beloved dogs Rosie and Buster to Australia (if they are still with us), but Harry’s natural rapport with animals will surely come in handy.
By the end of the first week we can expect Harry to have struck up a friendship with an alligator and have a dingo prepared to do his accounts for him.
The only real obstacle standing in the way of Harry’s jungle triumph is a sudden rotation of the managerial merry-go-round.
Impressed with Harry’s ability to battle through a tube of snakes, Cardiff call in Redknapp midway through the show in a swap deal with ITV that sees Neil Warnock arrive on ‘I’m A Celebrity’.
Redknapp can’t resist the chance to get back to work and bids an emotional farewell, taking the alligator with him to be his assistant manager.