With university classes set to resume over the coming weeks, The Rebound has learned from sources within the University of Manchester that hundreds of new and returning students have written to the faculty begging to be allowed into a new module focused on the practical application of German Idealism to football management.
The three-month module, titled ‘Hegel for football managers’, was only announced on Monday afternoon, yet spaces have filled up almost instantly.
Our anonymous source, who is close to the Dean of Tenuous Learning, confirmed that lecturers and administrators are putting this down to Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho’s recent quoting of Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel in the aftermath of a defeat to Tottenham Hotspur.
“Certainly, Mr Mourinho’s usage of Hegel’s ‘truth is the whole’ theory has inspired students to enroll,” says the source. “He’s shown a great ability to locate maxims using BrainyQuotes.com or perhaps even A-Z Quote, but this course goes into a bit more detail.
“The faculty member who came up with the module wants to help students aiming to become football managers select the appropriate philosophical ideal with which to align their managerial style or, alternatively, to justify their increasing obsolescence as a coach.”
So positive has been the response to the module that the university were moved to invite Mourinho to present a number of guest lectures as part of the curriculum.
The Portuguese has accepted the invitation, and is believed to be composing a lecture titled, “How Google Can Help You Appear Better Read Than You Actually Are”.
“We’re very excited about this new module,” said Rufus Backstamper, Senior Rector Of Incongruous Scheduling. “The amount of students signing up is Off. The. Chain.
“The uni hasn’t known such a popular course since Paul Scholes spent a semester here running a course on Correct Tackling Technique For Football Beginners. Or perhaps since Ryan Giggs did a seminar on the importance of fidelity among family members.”
Mourinho himself was unavailable for comment, but is believed to be cautiously optimistic that the module will churn out one or two philosophically adept coaches over the coming years.