Ten things to look for this weekend – our specials include a Jose buzzcut

Ahead of the Premier League weekend, we've got an offbeat selection of bets to keep an eye out for...

1. Buzzing for Burnley?

Jose Mourinho is well into meltdown mode. We make it 8/1 that he goes full Britney and turns up to Burnley on Sunday with a shaved head.

2. I’ve got a Blanc space, baby…

With Mourinho under-pressure, ‘Big’ Sam Allardyce has been half-jokingly touting himself for the job – but the Biggest mover in that market is former United defender Laurent Blanc, who has emerged as the 7/1 third-favourite.

3. Royal send-off

Still, in better news for the beleaguered Mourinho, it’s 100/1 that Man City agree to pay him royalties for their documentary ‘All Or Nothing’ – which he definitely, definitely hasn’t watched.

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4. Why park the bus when you can drive it?

Tottenham boss Mauricio Pochettino has reaffirmed his faith in Hugo Lloris, despite his drink-driving arrest, insisting the Frenchman will be goal-keeping the captain’s armband. It’s 80/1 that he’ll be pictured driving the team bus on Sunday, too.

5. One-Neil to Harry?

Harry Kane has made a great start to the season, notching his first two goals in August ever, and will likely out-score most players in the division. But what about teams? Cardiff haven’t found the net yet this season, and Kane is 6/4 to out-gun the Welsh side this season.

6. Pass-ta master

On Sunday, Chelsea midfielder Jorginho produced more passes than his opposition combined, Newcastle. For the Italian to out-pass the Magpies again this weekend it is 9/4. Newcastle are away to champions Man City, so will surely repeat their tactic of standing in their own box for 90 minutes, hoping for a miracle.

7. Mr Brightside

Southampton manager Mark Hughes was at it again with the referee blame game last weekend – it’s 1/2 he criticises an official’s decision in the post-match press conference after his side play Crystal Palace. For clarity, that’s odds-on that he blames someone else while he continues to believe that Shane Long is a goalscorer.

8. Virgil Van Tight

Liverpool have been brutally miserly at the back so far this term. Has anybody attributed this to a world record central defender yet? Not clear. Anyway, they’re yet to concede, and it’s 100/1 they don’t until after Christmas.

9. After the drought, comes the flood

Saido Berahino scored his first goal for 913 days midweek. It’s 3/1 he scores again on Saturday – or 100/1 that he doesn’t score again for another 913 days.

10. Wat odds a sting in the tail?

Despite being everyone’s tip for relegation – ours included – Watford are now a lengthy 14/1 to go down, and an eye-wateringly tight 7/4 to finish in the top ten. No, we haven’t got those the wrong way around. With games against Tottenham, Arsenal and United in September, they may well switch places, though.

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