1. Buzzing for Burnley?
Jose Mourinho is well into meltdown mode. We make it 8/1 that he goes full Britney and turns up to Burnley on Sunday with a shaved head.
2. I’ve got a Blanc space, baby…
With Mourinho under-pressure, ‘Big’ Sam Allardyce has been half-jokingly touting himself for the job – but the Biggest mover in that market is former United defender Laurent Blanc, who has emerged as the 7/1 third-favourite.
3. Royal send-off
Still, in better news for the beleaguered Mourinho, it’s 100/1 that Man City agree to pay him royalties for their documentary ‘All Or Nothing’ – which he definitely, definitely hasn’t watched.
4. Why park the bus when you can drive it?
Tottenham boss Mauricio Pochettino has reaffirmed his faith in Hugo Lloris, despite his drink-driving arrest, insisting the Frenchman will be goal-keeping the captain’s armband. It’s 80/1 that he’ll be pictured driving the team bus on Sunday, too.
5. One-Neil to Harry?
Harry Kane has made a great start to the season, notching his first two goals in August ever, and will likely out-score most players in the division. But what about teams? Cardiff haven’t found the net yet this season, and Kane is 6/4 to out-gun the Welsh side this season.
6. Pass-ta master
On Sunday, Chelsea midfielder Jorginho produced more passes than his opposition combined, Newcastle. For the Italian to out-pass the Magpies again this weekend it is 9/4. Newcastle are away to champions Man City, so will surely repeat their tactic of standing in their own box for 90 minutes, hoping for a miracle.
7. Mr Brightside
Southampton manager Mark Hughes was at it again with the referee blame game last weekend – it’s 1/2 he criticises an official’s decision in the post-match press conference after his side play Crystal Palace. For clarity, that’s odds-on that he blames someone else while he continues to believe that Shane Long is a goalscorer.
8. Virgil Van Tight
Liverpool have been brutally miserly at the back so far this term. Has anybody attributed this to a world record central defender yet? Not clear. Anyway, they’re yet to concede, and it’s 100/1 they don’t until after Christmas.
9. After the drought, comes the flood
Saido Berahino scored his first goal for 913 days midweek. It’s 3/1 he scores again on Saturday – or 100/1 that he doesn’t score again for another 913 days.
10. Wat odds a sting in the tail?
Despite being everyone’s tip for relegation – ours included – Watford are now a lengthy 14/1 to go down, and an eye-wateringly tight 7/4 to finish in the top ten. No, we haven’t got those the wrong way around. With games against Tottenham, Arsenal and United in September, they may well switch places, though.