Just over a decade on from ‘Pizza-gate’, the Old Trafford tunnel yesterday served up ‘Milk-gate’ – with the post-match catering facilities clearly working to more austere budgets these days.
It kicked off big time, with Mike Arteta left with a cut on his head, Romelu Lukaku reportedly kicking off big time (insert a gag about how it was his first on-target shot in ages) and some players ending up piss-wet through after being soaked by milk.
— Sky Sports News (@SkySportsNews) December 11, 2017
So, who was the culprit of the milk throwing incident?
With Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho said to be in the firing line, we’ve priced up the identity of the mystery ‘milkman’.
First up in the betting is Ederson, who was slashed from 20/1 earlier in the day to 2/1 favourite, taking over from Fernandinho, who is 5/1 to have chucked the milk. As you can see from the picture above, he’s clearly a fan of a bit of colluding with his manager.
We’re also fairly sure our traders priced him up as the fav simply because he’s a bit aggro, too.
Other contenders include Sergio Aguero at 8/1 – well, he always delivers – and City boss Pep Guardiola 16/1, who is definitely too classy for mere tap water.
Romelu Lukaku 25/1 is amongst the candidates. Presumably he would’ve been aiming at Pep, though. This one seems unlikely since it would require him having an actual shot on target…
While United outcast Luke Shaw is rated at 25/1. Revenge is best served cold, and in milk form.
Mourinho when Ederson and the Man City mandem rolled up with milk & water pic.twitter.com/YLfsw93Kor
— Scott Free (@Kadeem_95) December 10, 2017
But, in the biggest twist of all, we’ve also priced up whether Mourinho threw the milk at himself 100/1, in what would be diversion tactics at their very best.
We all know he’s the best at avoiding the question and deflecting press attention – so could this be the way he’s done it?
That’s the same price as Old Trafford legends Sir Alex Ferguson or Sir Bobby Charlton being the culprit – turning quicker than milk against their boss.
Spokesman Paddy Power said: “Would you be surprised if it turned out that Jose had thrown milk over himself? From drama queen to dairy queen.
“Though I also think that Romelu Lukaku is decent value – but he was probably aiming at Pep, of course.”
6/1 Nicolas Otamendi
8/1 Kyle Walker
8/1 Sergio Aguero
8/1 Raheem Sterling
10/1 Kevin De Bruyne
12/1 Vincent Kompany
16/1 Pep Guardiola
20/1 Romelu Lukaku
25/1 Noel Gallagher
25/1 Luke Shaw
100/1 Jose Mourinho
100/1 Michael Oliver
100/1 Sir Alex Ferguson
100/1 Sir Bobby Charlton