MAN CITY ARE THE NEW PREMIER LEAGUE CHAMPIONS
There’s no point in pretending otherwise – 15 wins and one draw in their first 16 matches and it’s in the bag for the blues, mainly because no one else has been good enough to even vaguely keep up. They’ve got 22 matches left and they’ll need to lose four of those to be deposed from the top spot – and that isn’t going to happen. Oh, and Manchester United would need to win ALL 22 of their remaining matches – and that isn’t going to happen either. Viva City, hail Pep, merry Christmas everyone.
THE GULF BETWEEN THE TWO MANCHESTER CLUBS IS VAST
There were moments in the second half yesterday when Jose’s boys looked leaden-footed and confused while Pep’s lads skipped around them in search of a decisive third goal. United have improved under Mourinho but when so much rides on the inclusion of one player, namely Pogba, you know you’ve still got a long way to go.
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THERE WAS SOME VERY IMMATURE POST-MATCH BEHAVIOUR
And one of the perpetrators hadn’t even lost his match – Klopp’s whining over what was definitely an Everton penalty was ludicrous. As for Mourinho, he could hardly muster any words in the 5 Live interview I heard, sounding like a six-year-old who could barely believe that he’d let go of his fucking balloon and that it had flown off into the sky. That thing where he got water and milk chucked over him later wasn’t immature though – that was just funny.
JURGEN KLOPP IS THE PROBLEM NOT THE SOLUTION
We all know he’s a bit weird and tries too hard to be different sometimes but was leaving out Coutinho and Firmino supposed to be some kind of IRONIC team selection or what? Maybe he’s just mad.
DAVID MOYES IS ACTUALLY A FOOTBALLING GENIUS
I take back everything bad I’ve ever said about him – and I’m a Sunderland fan. It turns out that my team and Manchester United were just the wrong instruments for him to play. They were a flute and a tuba when what he was looking for all along was a banjo. And now he’s found one. West Ham United is a banjo and Moyes is strumming it like a frog on a lily pad.
BATSHUAYI IS A PIONEER
Of course subs get cold sitting in the bench in their big woolly hats and wrapped in their continental quilts. And Chelsea’s Michy Batshuayi was quite right to cuddle a hot water bottle to his face for added warmth. He should go one further and set up a brazier in the technical area, that he and his fellow subs can huddle around, warming their hands and baking potatoes.
TONY PULIS IS WAITING
He’s in his lair, with a white cat in his lap, stroking it and waiting for the call. The call from Stoke. His return is imminent and inevitable. He cannot be stopped. Pulis is life.
MAYBE RAFA ISN’T THAT GOOD
As Newcastle’s tailspin continues, perhaps Rafa Benitez just isn’t all that great as a coach any more. Sometimes you have it and then you lose it. Rafa had it in 2005 at Liverpool but maybe it’s gone now. Just look at Shakin’ Stevens – king of the pop world from 1981-1984 and then an embarrassment afterwards. Maybe Newcastle need Pulis to save them?
BENTEKE WANTS OUT
If you can’t read the secret signs when a highly-paid player is being deliberately disruptive because they want out but don’t want to lose their huge loyalty bonus for putting in a transfer request then I feel sorry for you. That’s all I’m saying about Benteke’s penalty antics on Saturday.
A WORLD CUP ICON HAS LEFT US
RIP Benjamin Massing – you did the best foul ever in the World Cup.