Ok so this is how it’s started – in a nutshell. Are you ready?
Piers Morgan was giving Olly Murs shit for making people unduly panic for what went on in Oxford Circus on Friday, saying he needs to be more responsible with what he tweets if he has millions of followers.
Listen piers! I was shopping and then all of sudden the whole place went mad, I mean crazy people running & screaming towards exits. We found a small office to hide to which loads of staff and people were saying there was shots fired. If you was there you’d have understood mate. https://t.co/mnZBTSLod4
— Olly Murs (@ollymurs) November 24, 2017
No. You listen, Olly. When you have millions of followers be very careful what you tweet. There were no shots, in fact nothing happened at all. So you stirred extra needless panic by tweeting false information. https://t.co/6L3xTBlwuA
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 24, 2017
James Blunt then pitched in having a go at Piers who thought it was a LOL moment that Piers was telling somebody else to be responsible about what they publish. This post was then liked by the professor, Toni Kroos. Piers then told Kroos to get lost and stay out of it. So he did.
You stay out of this @ToniKroos, if you know what’s good for you. pic.twitter.com/pBNhyF1xjR
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 25, 2017
But then, like a classic, last ditch, headless sliding tackle, Kolo Toure comes out of nowhere with a ‘Shut the fuck up’ to Piers.
https://twitter.com/KoloKolotoure28/status/934713801072611328
Piers came back with a real bullet to the heart to Kolo saying Yaya is a better footballer than him, which we all know is pure rubbish. Kolo Toure is the GOAT.
I'd be this angry too if my younger brother was better at football than me. https://t.co/0iZbTnXnHW
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 26, 2017
Kolo comes back with a classic – a question followed by a reiteration of your original slag.
https://twitter.com/KoloKolotoure28/status/934723308112764930
But then Piers hits him low again. Taking a pop at his weight. We all have our struggles Piers.
Overdoing those 'diet' pills again, Kolo? Pipe down. https://t.co/ia2s9z45SK
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 26, 2017
Kolo then nets a worldie with this tweet and finishes the game – a face slag followed by a reference to yourself in the third person. Game over Piers, nothing is stopping that.
https://twitter.com/KoloKolotoure28/status/934726522912542720
Piers then went on to question his retirement. Whatever Piers.
Mate, it's this kind of dismal defending that forced you into retirement. Ssshhh. https://t.co/e0dWDrgcR7
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 26, 2017
He then questioned whether Kolo’s account was real and apologised to Yaya. Who cares! It’s exactly what Kolo would’ve said even if it was him.
UPDATE: I’ve just been reliably informed @KoloKolotoure28 is a fake. So I’ve been squabbling with an imposter. The real Kolo apparently isn’t even on Twitter… 🙄
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 26, 2017
Hi mate @YayaToure, this is a bit awkward but if Kolo happens to like me, I unreservedly apologise for ripping into him all morning…
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 26, 2017
We’re just waiting on Toni Kroos to come back from his lunch with Ana Ivanovic to respond. And then Mario Ballotelli and JK Rowling to get involved.
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