Combined elevens with rivals are a funny thing. You don’t want to seem deluded (the amount of Everton/Liverpool ones I’ve seen from Evertonians that include seven Everton players just before we beat them 4-0 again is remarkable).
But you also don’t want to praise them too much either. I did think about doing eleven Liverpool players for the bantz, but then I got as far as the goalkeeper, and even Simon Mignolet’s ma wouldn’t pick him ahead of De Gea.
I did decide to only pick players who were available this weekend. So, no Sadio Mane or Paul Pogba. And I’m playing 4-2-3-1:
GK – David De Gea
Gets in on account of being the best goalkeeper in the league. Really hope he drops a brick on his foot on Saturday morning or something.
RB – Antonio Valencia
I always liked Valencia, for a Manc, and it’s commendable how he has re-invented himself as an all-action right back.
LB – Alberto Moreno
Why the hell not? It’s only a laugh, init. Plus I’m not picking bloody Ashley Young.
CB – Eric Bailly
Had a stop-start first season with injuries, but quickly looking like the centre half we feared Manchester United were getting.
CB – Joel Matip.
Hasn’t had the best start to the season, but I still think he’d be a top centre half if he got to play with someone like Bailly, instead of the lunatics at Liverpool.
DMC – Nemanja Matić
Worst Chelsea sale since my mate Jonny Biggs bought some Chelsea boots that he thought made him look like Harry Styles, but actually made him look like Prince Harry. They must be laughing their heads off. Both Manchester United and the fella who sold Jonny them boots.
DMC – Jordan Henderson
Another one who’s last season was hampered by injuries, but looks close to back to his best. Occasionally looks a little overwhelmed by Liverpool’s “everyone attack and Jordan play midfield” approach, but would have more license to get his passing going with that grock Matic next to him.
AMR – Mohammed Salah
Started at Liverpool like a house on fire, scoring goals left, right and centre. I wonder if he is starting to get curious why we didn’t buy any defenders as well, or if he’s just going with it.
AMC – Henrikh Mkhitaryan
I really, really like Mkhitaryan and was gutted when Manchester United bought him and have remained gutted every time I’ve watched him gliding across the football pitch this season.
AML – Philippe Coutinho
He’ll be the best player on the pitch on Saturday, the result just depends on how many of his mates turn up as well.
CF – Romelu Lukaku
A huge shock as a brilliant goalscorer for rubbish team scores even more once he’s got Henrikh Mkhitaryan passing to him instead of Mo Besic.