Hugh Hefner, Cannabis and The Chuckle Brothers: Three things more likely than Manchester United winning the Premier League

Jose Mourinho's Manchester United now have just 20 points from 13 games and are 11 points off the top of the league

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Manchester United’s 1-1 draw at home to West Ham means that Jose Mourinho’s side now have just 20 points from their opening 13 league games this season. Worryingly for fans of the Red Devils, even David Moyes and Louis Van Gaal were better off in their respective opening tenures. The stat nerds at Opta even pointed out that this is the first time since February 1990 in which an Utd have failed to win four games in a row at Old Trafford.

Meanwhile across the town, Manchester City are flying under Pep Guardiola, Mourinho’s former club Chelsea have bounced back to top form under Antonio Konte, and Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool are threatening to become unstoppable. The only way of adding more gloom around Old Trafford would be some kind of security breach. Oh, wait…

The Red Devils are now 33/1 to win the league with Paddy Power – and in our book, here are three things more likely to happen.

Hugh Hefner to announce he’ll be cryogenically frozen: 25/1

Early in November a British teenager won a historic legal case to have her body cryogenically frozen in case she could be cured in the future. The 14-year-old had a rare case of cancer and died in October, before being taken to America and preserved ready for the freezing process. Nobody knows yet if it is indeed possible to bring somebody back to life in the future and it’s certianly a controversial procedure, however Paddy Power thinks it is a 25/1 chance that legendary Playboy Hugh Hefner will announce he’ll be cyrogenically frozen. If the 90-year-old multi-millionaire goes for it, it’s probably best to lock up your great-great-great-grand-daughters…

Ireland to legalize recreational use marijuana by the end of 2020: 25/1

Ah weed. Pot. Dope. Hash. Doobies. Whatever you call it, Paddy Power has it priced up at 25/1 that Ireland will legalise the recreational use of cannabis before 2020. That’s more likely than Manchester United winning the league! Australia, some US states, the Netherlands, Austria, Belgium and Croatia have all relaxed their laws around marijuana and there has been a discussion in the Emerald Isle about legalising recreational use in the future. Could it happen? To be fair legalising drugs might be the only way to enjoy watching Jose Mourinho’s football.

The Chuckle Brothers to host Great British Bake Off: 33/1

To me. To you. When Channel 4 brought Great British Bake Off from the BBC, lovable hosts Mel and Sue said that they would be stepping down rather than jump ship. This has left the door open for a double-act fit to show us how to ice the perfect cake. Could that be Paul and Barry Chuckle? Probably not. After all, this pair made a TV series out of being clowns and failing to complete even the most basic task without burning down a shed and hitting an elderly person in the face with a cream pie. That being said, the chances of them getting the gig are the same as United winning the league. Maybe they’d be better in the Old Trafford hot-seat once Mourinho moves on…

What do you think?