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Top Of The Pops: Find out where your team ranks on our weekly Premier League round-up

How did your team fare this week? Did they rock their way to the top or crash and burn at the bottom of the charts?

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Manchester City

Pep Guardiola and his lads are leaving the rest of the league in the dust. City have won their first eight games of the season in all competitions and have racked up a tasty 25 goals. They thumped Bournemouth 4-0 at the Etihad this weekend and made it look like child’s play. If they carry on the season at this rate, I’ll give it a few months and there’ll be a Pep statue at the ground. Complete with Gallagher-esque sideburns and a cagoule zipped to the top.

Liverpool

Any United fans reading this are now muttering profanities under their breath, but it has been an impressive week for their two biggest rivals. Before the game, Conte described Liverpool as the “worst team” to face in the league at the moment and that rang true as they shattered Chelsea’s unbeaten streak. Dejan Lovren opened the scoring followed by an eye-watering long-range strike from Jordan Henderson (no, really!). Diego Costa netted his fifth of the season but ultimately didn’t get Chelsea back in the contest. Liverpool won more comfortably than the scoreline reflects and there were plenty of Klopp snuggles and snogs to celebrate.

Everton

Everton moved up to second place in the league this weekend, beating Middlesbrough a comfortable 3-1. If it wasn’t for the early balls-up from Stekelenburg The Toffees would’ve kept a clean sheet. Romelu Lukaku bagged again, calling an official end to his goal-drought. Koeman has had an impeccable start to the season, leaving Martinez and Moyesy in the dust.

Arsenal

After a shakey start to the season, Arsenal have found themselves back on track. They sunk 10-man Hull this weekend with ease. Alexis Sanchez became a target for PETA as he hunted down The Tigers once again. He has now found the net four times in three games against Hull. They now sit comfortably in fourth and the “Wenger Out” brigade are momentarily silenced.

Chelsea

Friday night football – aka the perfect excuse to get to the pub straight after work – was an absolute treat this week. Chelsea v Liverpool was the other of the day, and although Conte lost his first league game in charge, it was definitely entertaining. There was also a bit of humour in seeing David Luiz’s homecoming absolutely pissed on.

Watford

Let’s put it simply: Watford made an absolute mess of Manchester United this weekend. It was the first time since 1986 that The Hornets have reigned victorious over United, and you can tell they enjoyed it. Capoue and Deeney celebrated as Rooney and Pogba looked like they were playing five-a-side down at the park. Two impressive wins on the bounce for Watford.

Crystal Palace

Crystal Palace left Mark Hughes waking up in the night with cold sweats this week. They thumped Sparky’s side 4-1, despite a decent consolation goal from Arnautovic in the dying moments of the game. Stoke are rock-bottom and the victory means Palace have secured successive league wins for the first time since December 2015.

Tottenham Hotspur

Harry Kane’s second goal of the season rescused Spurs this weekend, resulting in a 1-0 over Sunderland. Harry Kane is awaiting scan results after an anjle knock saw him leave the pitch on a stretcher. David Moyes lost another game. Adnan Januzaj was handed a red card in the 89th minute for a second booking. Basically, a lot of people were left with sleepless nights on Sunday evening.

Leicester City

The Premier League champions bagged the three points against Burnley this weekend with ease. Islam Slimani opened his account with two league goals and a Ben Mee own goal sealed Burnley’s fate. After the Champions League victory, a domestic success was needed to keep the momentum up for the Foxes. Dilly dong, indeed.

West Brom

West Brom are the latest team to line-up and take a dump from a high height on The Hammers. A brace from Nacer Chadli, alongside goals from Rondon and McClean helped to ease speculation on Tony Pulis’ future and secure The Baggies a nice three points.

Southampton

Charlie Austin clambered off the bench against Swansea this week to net Southampton their first Premier League win of the season. He found the net just 10 minutes after coming on, his first league goal since his debut winner against Manchester United in January. The 1-0 was far from sexy or thrilling, but it was well deserved.

Bournemouth

Despite a victory against West Brom last week, Eddie Howe’s men were virtually powerless against Manchester City this weekend. Pep Guardiola’s side hammered them 4-0 at The Etihad, and realistically, they were lucky it wasn’t a lot more. It’s a tricky week for The Cherries too, with Preston in the cup and second-placed Everton to contend with.

Manchester United

What a week it has been for United fans. Three losses in a week. First the Derby, then Feyenoord followed by dessert of a 3-1 smashing at Vicarage Road. Their only saving grace from keeping them bottom of the Top of The Pops is their previous league performances, which keep them clinging onto seventh place. Looks like plenty of United fans will be turning to the heavy stuff to get them through this week if the last one is anything to go by!

Middlesbrough

It started well for Boro this weekend, Negredo forcing Everton’s Stekelenburg to drop the ball into his own net. But their solid defence which resulted in promotion from the Championship could not contain unbeaten Everton. Their second half worries continue, as they are yet to score in the second half of a league game this season.

Sunderland

Sunderland are the latest club feeling the full force of ‘The Moyes Effect’. With just one point under their belt and another loss this week to Southampton, things are looking grim. They stay above The Hammers & Stoke in the TOTP this week, simply because they weren’t quite THAT bad, losing by one goal as opposed to say, four.

West Ham

Oh dear. Slaven Bilic’s side have now conceded 11 goals in their last three games, leaving the ex-Croatia Manager under a very hot spotlight. On the plus side, if he does lose his job, he was a brilliant pundit at the Euros…

Stoke City

Bottom of the table, and bottom of Top of The Pops (both equally as crucial and important). Sparky’s stoke have managed just one point from five games and need to turn it around quickly. It all else fails, at least we can count on them for a good scrap.

What do you think?