Rescued ISS astronauts first question: “Have City been done yet?”

Astronauts trapped in space for nine months were stunned to learn Man City have still not been brought to book over alleged FFP breaches

By / Football News / 1 week ago

After spending nine months stuck in space, two NASA astronauts finally returned to Earth last night and their first question was: ‘Have Manchester City been done yet?’

Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams were only meant to be on the International Space Station for eight days when they blasted off from Earth on 5th June last year.

 

But by the time they docked at the ISS, their Starliner suffered major problems and it was decided it would be safer waiting in orbit than returning to Earth onboard the vessel.

When avid Premier League fans Wilmore and Williams set off on their mission, City had been charged with allegedly breaching 115 Financial Fair Play rules.

The pair had smuggled a dodgy Firestick onboard to stay updated with the ongoing legal battle, but the system failures rendered the illegal device useless.

For nine long months the astronauts wondered if City had been stripped of their ill-gotten titles and banished to the nether regions of the English football pyramid.

And when their capsule splashed down off the coast of Florida about 6pm local time yesterday evening, the pair were keen to learn of City’s fate.

‘Have City been done yet?’, Wilmore asked, while being helped off the capsule and placed on a stretcher.

‘Cheating b******s, you know what you are’, chanted Williams, as she took a gulp of fresh air for the first time in nine months.

However, the mood onboard the recovery vessel changed when Butch and Suni were informed that City had still not been found guilty or faced punishment.

‘If this had been Everton, they’d be relegated all the way back to the 1993 GM Vauxhall Conference by now’, yelled Butch.

Things got even more heated when the pair were told that Erling Haaland signed a new nine-and-a-half-year contract in January.

‘Well, that’s that then. The cheating b******s have gotten away with it! There’s no way that big f***er would spend the next 10 years banging in treble hattricks in League Two’, screamed Suni.

‘Game’s gone’, she added before being whisked away to NASA for a debrief.

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