Manchester United co-owner Sir Jim Radcliffe has been spotted on a unicycle after the club announced plans to build a £2b circus tent next to Old Trafford.
Eyewitnesses claim the 72-year-old was juggling balls and riding the one-wheeled contraption around Old Trafford while circus music blared through the stadium’s PA system.
It’s presumed the British tycoon’s antics were an attempt to whip up support for his plans to make United the biggest circus show in the world.
‘The United fans are used to seeing 11 clowns run around the pitch so building a world class circus tent for them to perform in seemed like the natural progression’, United CEO Omar Berrada told Paddy Power News.
‘There’ll be juggling, plate spinning and balancing. And that’s just the accountancy side of this £2bn project’.
Meanwhile, ringmaster Ruben Amorim told us: ‘My clowns will entertain the audience with their slapstick defending’.
‘While magicians Luke Shaw and Mason Mount will perform their world-famous disappearing act.
‘If that isn’t enough for you, our Sporting Director Jason Wilcox will walk a PSR tightrope as he tries to recruit new players while offloading the likes of Antony, Casemiro and Marcus Rashford.
‘And last but by no means least, former CEO Ed Woodward will wow us with his human cannonball routine.
BRAGA, PORTUGAL – NOVEMBER 10: Sporting Head Coach Rúben Amorim talks during a press interview after the Liga Portugal Betclic match between Sporting Clube de Braga and Sporting Clube de Portugal at Estádio Municipal de Braga on November 10, 2024 in Braga, Portugal. (Photo by Pedro Loureiro/Eurasia Sport Images/Getty Images)
‘Ed will be shot out of a specially made compressed air cannon designed by Sir Jim’s pal James Dyson. It’s Jim’s way of thanking Ed, who he describes as the founding father of the current Manchester United circus’.
In related news, a poll amongst United supporters revealed the game they’re looking forward to seeing the most in the new stadium is a Manchester derby.
‘I can’t to see us take on Salford City in League Two’, one elated United fan told Paddy Power News.
*Paddy Power News’s footy news is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second
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