International break marred by Barclaysmen versus xG nerd clashes

No false nine b*****ks back then

A typically tranquil international break descended into chaos yesterday amid brutal clashes between rival groups of Barclaysmen and xG geeks on X, formerly known as Twitter, over vintage Premier League football compilation videos.

The humdrum of international football normally provides the internet community with a brief respite from the ruthless banter between fans of rival Premier League clubs.

However, conflict erupted between fans of modern Premier League football and those who prefer the ‘Barclays Era’ (2001-2016) of the game, when a series of ‘Barclaysmen’ compilation videos with accompanying noughties soundtracks began trending on X/Twitter.

While Barclays fans lost themselves in the nostalgia of a bygone era filled with ballers and bangers, they were brutally blindsided by Xg nerds mocking the tactical ineptitude of the period.

‘Poor OOP structures there’, commented one tactical breakdown nerd, under a video of former Bolton Wanderers star Jay Jay Okocha dribbling the ball past five players to the sounds of Arctic Monkey’s From the Ritz to the Rubble.

‘Look at the space! Would you look at the space he’s got there! Could you imagine him scoring a goal like that against Brighton?’, wrote another under a video of Morten Gamst Pedersen smashing the ball into the top corner from 40-yards to the tune of Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes.

Barclays fanatics returned fire by rounding the modern game and its managers in particular.

‘Pep wouldn’t have survived in the Barclays era’, commented one man in his late 30s with a Wayne Rooney bicycle-kick profile pic.

‘You think Harry Redknapp gave a f*** about xG and all that transition bollocks? Not a chance. He told the centre half to find Niko Kranjcar with a long punt and he would do the rest’.

‘Give me Neil Warnock and Big Sam over Fraudiola any day’, he added, in the comments of a compilation video of Tony Hibbert’s best pass-backs to Tim Howard.

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