Middle-aged men with balding Paul Weller haircuts rejoiced this morning after acclaimed football journalist Fabrizio Romano announced that Manchester rock band Oasis are reuniting after 15 years.
Feuding brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher ramped up speculation that an Oasis reunion could finally be happening with a series of cryptic social media posts.
However, many people refused to believe a reunion was on the cards until Romano’s signature ‘Here We go’ post appeared on X this morning.
In an era of misinformation, a recent study found that 97% of males aged between 14-65 acknowledge Romano as the world’s only reliable news source.
‘Oasis back together, here we go!’, tweeted the 31-year-old journalist.
‘Deal completed between all parties as Liam Gallagher agrees to replace his trademark tambourine with a pair of scissors at Noel’s request’.
‘Band to receive £400m from overpriced tickets and bucket hat sales.
‘Blur confirmed as support act. Done deal’.
The last time Oasis played a gig together Jonny Evans was still a Man Utd player
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) August 26, 2024
In related news, a fella who says he doesn’t care about the Oasis reunion has spent all morning tweeting about how much he doesn’t care that Oasis are reuniting.
‘Who else doesn’t care about this stupid Oasis reunion?’, he wrote in a post which received 1 like in 3 hours.
‘Oasis is what you get when you order The Beatles off AliExpress.
‘I’m embarrassed for Oasis fans this morning. They’re behaving like Taylor Swift fans with Parkas’.
Meanwhile, one Oasis fan is quietly confident that his wife and kids won’t mind skipping their annual summer trip to Center Parcs after deciding to spend the money on a ticket for one of next year’s Wembley gigs.
‘I’ve been waiting 15 years for this. They know how much it means and I’m sure they’ll be delighted for me’, he told Paddy Power News.
‘The missus must be as excited as I am about the reunion because she’s just sent me a text saying: ‘I suppose you think you’re going to see Oasis next year???’
When asked his reply was, the man remarked:
‘I said maybe…’.
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second
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