Steve McClaren overheard practicing Jamaican accent in airport

Steve McClaren is aiming to add another spot-on accent to his repertoire as he takes over the Jamaican national side

By / Football News / 3 months ago

Following his appointment as the head coach of the Jamaica national football team, Steve McClaren has been overheard working on a Carribean inflection in a bid to ingratiate himself with his new side and their supporters.

During his trip to Jamaican capital Kingston via Miami, it has been reported that a fellow passenger noticed the former Man United coach repeating the words “beer can” while staring into a bathroom mirror as he awaited a connecting service.

LONDON – NOVEMBER 21: Manager of England Steve McClaren looks dejected during the Euro 2008 Group E qualifying match between England and Croatia at Wembley Stadium on November 21, 2007 in London, England. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

“Did I think it was an actual Jamaican person repeating the word bacon over and over? Absolutely not,” said Eve Dropper, taking time out from peering at the phone of the person beside her as they scrolled through Instagram.

“It sounded crap. I mean, just because you say ‘mon’ at the end of every sentence, that does not make you sound like you’re from Montego Bay,” she claimed, now peeking into the luggage of another passenger while waiting for her flight.

McClaren, famous for putting on a Dutch accent during his time at FC Twente and a Geordie accent whilst at Newcastle, is believed to have connected with YouTube rap sensation and the most Jamaican non-Jamaican person on the planet, M Dot R, about becoming his assistant manager.

“Apparently M Dot R told Steve being Jamaican is a state of mind and that it is an easy accent to master.

“He also confirmed he’d be proud to be part of the coaching staff.”

“Steve was delighted with his help and the pair got matching Shaggy tattoos to celebrate,” a source said.

However, the reports may add a cloud to the sunny coastal horizon that is McClaren West Indian adventure, as Paddy Power News has been informed that the Jamaican FA inserted several clauses in their new manager’s contract specifically forbidding such behaviour.

These include:

1. Under no circumstance is the national team coach to even attempt a Jamaican accent.
2. Under no circumstance is the national team coach to reference Bob Marley in any official team activities or media appearances.
3. Under no circumstance is the national team coach to say he doesn’t like reggae… or that he loves it.
4. Any mention of UB40 will lead to an instant dismissal.

Despite this early misstep, the former England manager is said to be excited at the prospect of getting back into the international frame and is familiar with some of the talent at his disposal

 

“The new boss already got plans to call on Usain Bolt to play up front having been impressed by sprinter at Soccer Aid once when he was up against Danny Dyer,” a local reporter told us.

“Bolt had the beating of the Queen Vic barman all day long, and that is the type of player McClaren wants to work with,” they explained.

And with his first match as manager expected to be against Cuba in September, it leaves enough time for the 63-year-old to go shopping for a brand-new brolly and a state-of-the-art bobsleigh, which have both been described as “essential items” if he is to be successful.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second

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