Cautious Southgate orders England stars to wear safety helmets on exercise bikes

Safety first. ALWAYS.

Uber cautious England boss Gareth Southgate has ordered his players to wear safety helmets when using exercise bikes during warm-ups.

It’s all part of the 53-year-old’s ‘safety first’ approach to England’s Euro 2024 campaign, which includes players triple-tying their boot laces and wearing safety goggles while making half-time cups of tea.

The Three Lions got their campaign off to the perfect start with a 1-0 win over Serbia following a great defensive performance from their back 9 in Gelsenkirchen.

However, Southgate was left unimpressed by what he described as ‘reckless behaviour’ from some of his squad during the pre-match warm-up.

“Some of the lads have been riding exercise bikes without wearing the appropriate head protection equipment,” Southgate told Paddy Power News.

It’s the kind of devil-may-care approach to life I try to coach out of my players.

“I mean, exercise bikes without helmets? What next?

“Driving past a petrol station with only half a tank full of petrol? Leaving your phone screen on full brightness with only 75% battery? Looking for a second goal to kill off a game when you’re 1-0 up against Serbia? Total chaos.”

When pressed on how he might solve the Phil Foden conundrum following a lacklustre showing from the Manchester City star, Southgate added: “My staff and I believe we’ve found Phil’s best position… on the bench beside Cole Palmer.

“Also, benching Phil would free up a space in my team for another defensive minded player.

“I hear there’s a lad by the name of Jordan Henderson in Holland who’s trying to grow the sport of football there.

“I wonder if it’s too late for a call-up?.”

Meanwhile, Antonio Rüdiger has been awarded the Freedom of the City of Aberdeen after becoming Scotland’s joint top goal scorer ever at the Euros.

Rüdiger’s own goal during Germany’s 5-1 victory over the Scots puts him level with the likes of Ally McCoist and Paul McStay.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second.

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