Harry Kane has been spotted wearing a Million Dollar Championship belt following Bayern Munich’s heartbreaking Champions League semi-final exit at the hands of Real Madrid.
Joselu’s late double gave the Madridistas a 2-1 victory over Bayern ending Kane’s chances of winning any silverware in his debut season with the German club.
However, it appears Kane has finally got his hands on a title after images appeared on social media of the England striker sporting a golden belt with diamond encrusted dollar signs.
Discussing the belt with Paddy Power News, Kane told us, ‘I couldn’t win a title with England. I couldn’t even win a title with Bayern. So, I’ve decided to buy my own’.
Asked why he never mentioned Spurs in that list, the 30-year-old said:
‘Don’t be silly. No one ever wins titles with Spurs.
On whether the belt was really worth one million dollars, the former Millwall loanee revealed, ‘Na. But ‘the 40 grand on eBay belt’ sounds a bit shit, doesn’t it?’
Meanwhile, a new study has revealed that Ancelotti’s eyebrow has overtaken Hulkamania as the most powerful force in the universe.
It comes as Ancelotti stands on the brink of an unprecedented fifth Champions League title as manager.
Upon hearing the news, former wrestler Hulk Hogan took to X, formerly known as Twitter, to launch a scathing attack on the 64-year-old Italian.
MADRID, SPAIN – MAY 08: Carlo Ancelotti, Head coach of Real Madrid speaks to the media during a press conference ahead of their UEFA Champions League semi-final first leg match against Manchester City FC at Valdebebas training ground on May 08, 2023 in Madrid, Spain. (Photo by Angel Martinez/Getty Images)
‘I’ll tell ya something, brothers. Even the Hulkster can’t deny the cosmic power of Ancelotti’s left eyebrow, man. That thing even made Everton look like title contenders for 5 games.
‘But it’s no match for the unhealthy affection a bunch of 40-year-old men still have for a geriatric 80s wrestler which is known as Hulkamania.
‘To all my little Hulkamaniacs, say your prayers, do a sun bed and take your steroids.
‘What are you gonna do, Carlo? When these 24-inch saggy pythons and run wild on you?’
Finally, BeIn Sports presenter Richard Keys has questioned the abilities of Madrid’s two-goal hero Joselu.
‘Scoring two goals including an injury-time winner in the biggest game of his career is fine, but could he do it on a wet Wednesday night at Stoke?’
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second.
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