Three wins, three clean sheets and Premier League safety secured, yet the internet doesn’t care about any of that. We’re all far more concerned with the big man’s attire. Where has his suit gone?
A remarkable Merseyside derby win and a defensive unit more solid than Jose’s 2005 Chelsea side, and all by a man who now looks like he takes fashion advice from Tony Pulis.
Is there still a baseball cap to be added to this new look? It’s all terribly exciting.
Unfounded rumours had circulated that Dyche’s successor at Burnley, Vincent Kompany, nicked the Toffees boss’s threads in a bid inspire the Clarets in their relegation battle.
Probably would have been better off stealing a few balls, or the last five years of bank statements, Vinny.
"My mum wasn't happy, she prefers me in a suit!" 😅
Sean Dyche on his recent outfit change – which seems to have inspired Everton to successfully avoid relegation 👔 pic.twitter.com/pRrVYTGdw0
— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) May 1, 2024
Another theory suggests a ritualisitic end-of-season ceremonial burning of the suit is planned, along with a few Liverpool shirts, the letters from the Premier League about their points deductions and – as is tradition at Goodison Park – half-a-billion quid belonging to Farhad Moshiri.
While gifting the suit to Jurgen Klopp as he heads off to pastures new also cannot be ruled out, there is also speculation it just got lost at the local drycleaners.
Whatever the truth, Paddy Power News has dug into other possible solutions for the now suit-less Dyche for the next twelve months…
The ‘I’m partying’ get-up
Celebrating his “biggest achievement” in securing Premier League status for Everton, Dyche and his players are expected to be hitting the town at the end of the season, where the boss will be dressed head to toe in a sparkly number which is of course blue.
The Ibiza beach club co-ord
The party doesn’t end there as the former Burnley boss takes a few of his favourite players to Ibiza, where he will be sipping expensive cocktails in places like Blue Marlin, O Beach, and Pikes alongside TOWIE and Love Island Z-listers.
The inevitable court case clobber
It didn’t take long but it’s back to the trusted suit when called upon to give evidence, having seen Everton docked a further 20 points ahead of the new season for overspending on £25m man Beto… that’s £5m per goal.
No problem for Dyche though, as he feels right at home in his beloved suit again and will be ready to stick it to the man in the courtroom, and on the football pitch.
The ill-fitting fitting pre-season activewear
A few too many shandies in close season. Like many players, Dyche will definitely get caught by paparazzi looking a little bigger than usual. Not to worry, some Under Armour gear and two weeks of solid sprints get him back to full fitness and ready to dominate that technical area again.
BURNLEY, UNITED KINGDOM – AUGUST 15: Burnley’s head coach Sean Dyche (C) leads a training session, ahead of UEFA Europa League 3rd Qualifying Round return match against Medipol Basaksehir at Burnley’s Turf Moor Stadium, on 15 August, 2018 at team’s training ground in Burnley, United Kingdom. (Photo by Lindsey Parnaby/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)
The Santa outfit
It was supposed to be used for the Everton Christmas party, which is inevitably cancelled when Everton find themselves 7 points adrift of safety and receiving hate from their fans. Going on a wild-one at Christmas seems a tad inappropriate. Waste not want not for Sean, who decides to dress as Santa Clause for the entirety of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Got to get your money’s worth.
Survival gear
With Dominic Calvert-Lewin injured for the best part of the season, Dyche and his players head into another relegation dogfight, this time facing Leicester, Ipswich and Leeds. Exactly one year on, the tracksuit makes an expected return, but will it have the same affect?
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second.
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