Erik ten-Hag will give his Manager of the Month award a starting berth against Liverpool on Sunday.
The under-pressure Manchester United boss, will use MOM statuette in a double pivot midfield alongside Scott McTominay.
The Dutch tactician will also shuffle his starting formation to include Trigger’s Broom from Only Fools as a sweeper, with the club’s carbon footprint playing up front with Rasmus Hojlund.
It is unclear if Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s head honcho, Dave Brailsford, is behind the radical moves, but speaking exclusively to Paddy Power News, Ten Hag was in buoyant mood considering he will probably be out of work by Sunday evening: “I’ve been putting the new lads through their paces.” he explained.
“I gave them all a run out with the stiffs on Wednesday, just to make sure they are ready to go into battle at Anfield.
“Our defence is absolute sh*te and we are leaking goals, so I am thinking that apart from bricking up the goal, an extra body back there is the next best thing.
“And the midfield is about as mobile as the QE2, so MOM will play a holding role like they did against Bury the other day.”
“Now we’re out of Europe, our carbon footprint will be lowered so I’m not worried about their fitness. I think Rasmus will enjoy having a different foil to work off.
“I also considered Fred the Red as goalkeeper, but he has a wedding on Saturday night so has ruled himself out.”
United head across the East Lancs Road with last season’s 7-0 thrashing at Anfield still fresh in their minds and despite skipper Bruno Fernandes missing the game, by getting booked in last weekend’s 3-0 home defeat to Bournemouth which means he can go clubbing in London, ten-Hag will hope the rest of the squad will have the stomach for a fight.
A member of his coaching staff was left in no doubt: “Bringing the new lads in has certainly given the rest of the squad a much-needed shot in the arm.
“Trigger’s Broom has looked versatile in training, whichever head we’ve used, and has already struck up a great understanding with Raphael Varane and Jonny Evans.
“Scott has helped MOMsy settle in well too. They’ve found they have a lot in common and both have been staying behind at Carrington to do some extra training just standing around.
Carbon footprint on the other hand, will add a new dimension to the attack. I’ve seen more effort from them in two training sessions than Martial has shown in the past two years.
“I think Liverpool should be worried about us.”
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second
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