TikTok videos, Instagram reels and Twitter memes – Chelsea have once again found themselves as the butt of the joke after spending over £1bn on transfers, only to be on the wrong end of a 1-0 home defeat to Nottingham Forest and lingering around mid-table in the Premier League.
Forest could be the only team to rival Chelsea in squad size, boasting 275 registered professionals in and around their own first team (just 100 shy of Chelsea’s number). They have however constructed their squad at a fraction of the cost.
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With what seems to be unlimited players and unlimited funds, Paddy Power News looks at what else Todd Boehly might have spent £1bn on that could have offered a better return on investment.
It’s all about ROI in the business world guys…
Get Mo Salah for a season
If the numbers being reported in the press are close to being true, Chelsea could afford to sign Mo Salah and pay him for one season. To be fair, Mo Salah would definitely be better value than hlaf their recent signings combined.
Invest in an NFT
Are NFTs still a thing or did that fad pass?
We are sure if Bohely visited the dark web he would be able to find a reputable vendor willing to sell him a drawing of a monkey for at least a billion quid.
Buy Shevchenko Ferdinand, Veron, Le Saux AND Essien
Some clever-clogs worked out the true value of historical transfers based on modern day inflation. You could get these former United and Chelsea stars for just under £1bn in today’s market. What a bargain.
Bitcoin
Spend a billion pounds of real money on Bitcoin, turn that Bitcoin into infinity value of money that isn’t real, claim to be rich beyond your wildest dreams and then lose it all when the Bitcoin market plummets.
Buy Wales’ best football club – Newport County F.C
How amazing would it be to see Newport in the Premier League? It’d be worth it just to p*ss off Wrexham supporters who are getting way too big for their boots already.
Van Wilder has a lot to answer for.
Pay the ULEZ charge for every Chelsea fan
The Ultra-Low Emission Zone means drivers now must pay a daily charge of £12.50 to drive anywhere within 20 miles of London.
Maybe Boehly could cover the cost for any Chelsea fan needing to use their vehicle in the big smoke.
That would be more well received than 99% of the new signings, trust us!
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% nonsense, but you knew that already… didn’t you?
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