NFL icon Tom Brady is wearing flat caps and asking to be called ‘Tommy’ after becoming a minority owner of Championship club Birmingham City. The seven-time Super Bowl star was spotted outside St Andrew’s Stadium smoking a rolled-up cigarette shortly after the takeover was announced.
‘I’m now the proud owner of Birmingham City football club, by order of the Peaky fu… I mean, Shelby Company Limited’, Brady told Paddy Power News.
‘I’m just an extreme example of what a multimillionaire global sports star can achieve, with the right billionaire investors behind them’.
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When asked by one reporter what he knew about English football, the quarterback barked: ‘I’ll have your eyes for that’.
After blinding the journalist, Brady was introduced to Birmingham’s first team squad for the first time. He gathered the players around in a circle and gave them some words of advice regarding last season’s ill-discipline on the field.
Going around each of the players individually, Brady said:
‘No fighting. No fighting. No fighting. NO F***ING FIGHTING!’
Brady, celebrating his 46th birthday, was taken to a local pub called the Garrison and treated to some traditional Birmingham cuisine including groaty pudding.
The former New England Patriots star spent the rest of the afternoon posting black and white images of himself on social media including quotes about keeping his circle small and trusting no one.
Meanwhile, it’s understood Brady’s first recommendation to the Blues board will be to rehire former manager Barry Fry.
The 78-year-old was spotted at Birmingham’s training ground this morning following a personal invite from Brady.
After putting first team stars through their paces with a gruelling Beer Mile, Fry told Paddy Power News:
‘If you can run a mile with a full English and four cans in your belly without barfing, then you might just make it at this football club’.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% nonsense, but you knew that already… didn’t you?
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