The football world was stunned last week as the voice of the Premier League, Martin Tyler, decided he’d had enough grief from fans complaining he didn’t celebrate their side’s goals enough and packed it in.
And there should be no such complaints about his successor, Peter Drury, who cut his teeth as a sports reporter making the World Paint-Drying Championships into must-see-TV with his booming oratory and colourful style.
Experienced commentator Peter Drury will officially join Sky Sports to cover Premier League football from the 2023/24 season! 🚨🎙️ pic.twitter.com/u3EL8vEI3O
— Sky Sports (@SkySports) June 18, 2023
Now he will bring his bombastic blather and spine-tingling scene-setters to Sky Sports, with his new colleagues being offered a free box of ear-plugs as a precautionary measure in case his flights of fancy become too much.
And Paddy Power News has spoken to a source very close to the 55-year-old who revealed how he reacted to the offer to join the UK’s Premier League broadcast partner.
We were told Drury reacted with characteristic flair on receiving a phonecall from Sky’s HR department offering him a contract.
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“The heavens have parted! The angels have sung! And the footballing gods themselves have bestowed this monumental responsibility upon my shoulders!”, he roared to his partner as he sat down for his tea following the call.
“Brace yourselves, dear football fans, for the majesty of my words shall grace the greatest league in the world for years to come!” he continued as he accidentally knocked a slice of toast to the floor while waving his arms for emphasis.
“A fateful slip sends supper slaloming to jaws of hell,” he cried as his bichon frisé, Trixie, snapped it up from the floor.
“No matter – I stand before you today, ready to paint pictures with words, to create symphonies of emotion, and to make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end!” Drury declared as he ladeled some beans onto his plate, and the voluble verbal display carried on after he’d taken a few bites of his evening meal, which he described as “a fry-up fit for the residents of Mount Olympus.”
“Wolstenholme, Moore, Motson – now, I gird myself to ascend to the pantheon. The path to immortality runs through Old Trafford, Anfield and, yes, even the The Vitality Stadium on the occasional Monday night!”
While the move will lift the volume of Premier League commentary next season, some are concerned Drury’s arrival might overshadow the actual action on the pitch as fans are forced to google explanations as to what Drury is actually talking about.
“We just hope he’ll let Gary Neville get a word in – though some might be grateful if he doesn’t,” one well-placed source said.
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.
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