Breaking: Ed Woodward lodges last-minute Man United bid

He's back


Former Manchester United chief executive Ed Woodward has launched an audacious eleventh hour bid to buy the club, Paddy Power News understands.

The 51-year-old has submitted the offer directly to United’s popular owners, the Glazer family, who are managing the sale of the club.

Woodward, a shrewd negotiator, is understood to have made an opening bid in the region of six SQUILLION pounds.

While CEO of the club, Woodward negotiated transfer deals for United legends such Marouane Fellaini, Morgan Schneiderlin and Alexis Sánchez.

The former investment banker has set up a GoFundMe page to raise six squillions by the end of day.

If successful with his bid, Woodward plans to modernize the Old Trafford stadium with a lick of paint.

He will meet with fans groups to discuss renaming the Stretford End as ‘The Glazer Shack’ in honour of United’s current owners.

Woodward also promises that United will compete with Manchester City next season by reinstating David Moyes as manager and re-signing Odion Ighalo.

‘Things have gone to sh*t at United since I left’, Woodward told Paddy Power News.

A Manchester United supporter wears a green and gold scarf in protest against the Glazer family’s owenership of the club ahead of their English Premier League football match against Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford in Manchester, north-west England, on April 24, 2010. AFP PHOTO/PAUL ELLIS – FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY Additional licence required for any commercial/promotional use or use on TV or internet (except identical online version of newspaper) of Premier League/Football League photos. Tel DataCo +44 207 2981656. Do not alter/modify photo. (Photo credit should read PAUL ELLIS/AFP via Getty Images)

‘We would never have conceded 7 goals at Anfield had I still been in charge. I always made sure we kept the score down to 4 or 5 nil when we played Liverpool’.

‘I still can’t believe they allowed Phil Jones to leave for free. When I take control, my first act as United owner will be to offer him a brand new 5-year contract’.

‘Just give me 10-years and a billion quid and I’ll get this club back to where it was 10-years ago before I became CEO and spent a billion quid’.

Meanwhile, as news of Woodward’s bid spread, thousands of United fans wearing Tampa Bay Buccaneers gathered outside Old Trafford.

‘We want the Glazers in, say we want Glazers in’, chanted the baying mob.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.

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