Chelsea book O2 Arena for Pochettino’s first meeting with squad

Standing room only at the first Chelsea squad meet-up with their new manager


Chelsea have rented the O2 Arena to to host their squad’s first meeting with new manager Mauricio Pochettino, Paddy Power News understands.

The decision was made because none of the club’s facilities is large enough to accommodate the Blues’ expansive full squad and and new backroom staff.

Sources close to the club claim Pochettino insisted as part of his negotiations with owner Todd Boehly on booking a venue large enough to fit all the club’s contracted professionals

“Mauricio had heard enough stories – he didn’t want to have to deliver the same message to the dressing room, corridor, carpark and a Zoom call to cover all the players.”

“And bringing everyone together in one place will be a great opportunity for much of the squad to meet for the first time. We’ve got name badges prepared and some ice-breaker games planned for the day so the lads can get to know one another.”

It’s believed the Argentine, 51, plans to deliver a motivational talk to the assembled hordes of players, who have endured a torrid end-of-season under Frank Lampard.

“The players are tired of being told they’re crap by the old manager – now they’ll be told they’re crap by the new manager before he sells most of them off at a massive loss.”

“It’s going to be like one of those Jordan Peterson talks except the crowd’ll be in tears rather than the bloke on stage.

“And with less BO.”

The club has also secured a deal that covers future squad meetings and club functions.

“This place could come in very useful when Poch has to tell all the underage players they’re being released so Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang can add another wing to his house.”

And Chelsea owner Todd Boehly is delighted to see the new manager taking control of the situation at the club straight away.

“Look, the O2 is one of the greatest venues in the world – it’s designed to host all sorts of huge shows, performances and productions.

“It’s the ideal site for a circus like Chelsea Football Club!”

“And it’s great to have Maury Povichino as the ringmaster – I used to catch his show on cable all the time, I’m sure he’ll help the guys work out their problems.

It was later pointed out that the club had hired Mauricio Pochettino not TV host Maury Povich, though the American billionaire remained upbeat.

“Well I do know this guy got the Spurs to the European Championship game – they still sell DVDs of that in the Tottenham stadium shop, so he’s gotta be doing something right.”

And the 49-year-old businessman is still aiming big despite this season’s setbacks.

“There’s no reason we can’t fill Hyde Park with players next summer,” he said.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.


    The latest football odds are on now


    What do you think?