Wout Weghorst marked his farewell appearance for Manchester United with a trademark miss which he dedicated to the fans inside Old Trafford. The Dutchman came off the bench to replace Marcus Rashford in the 77th minute of United’s 2-1 victory over Fulham hoping to add to his impressive tally of missed sitters this season.
Deep into injury-time, Jadon Sancho found Weghorst in acres of space at the back post and the forward dispatched the chance wide with aplomb. It was the 30-year-old’s 236th miss since joining the club in January and what appears to be his final one in a United shirt.
‘I want to dedicate that missed chance to every single one of you’, said an emotional Weghorst while addressing the Old Trafford crowd after the game. ‘To hear you call me useless lanky tw*t every time I put the ball wide is a very special feeling’.
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‘I’ve missed sitters for every team I’ve played for, but nothing compares to missing an open goal at Old Trafford.
‘I also dedicate the miss to all my teammates, who’ve created countless clear-cut opportunities for me to waste.
‘And the manager, who persisted with me despite those first few games when I scored a goal and looked dangerous’, he wept.
Meanwhile, Erik Ten Hag confirmed he would not be making Weghorst’s loan move a permanent one after he was spotted abandoning the striker in the countryside.
Sources claim that Ten Hag stopped his car on a country road and asked Weghorst to check for a flat tyre. But when his compatriot exited the vehicle, Ten Hag locked the doors and drove off at high speed.
Upon returning to Carrington, Ten Hag told players and staff that the former Besiktas star had ‘gone to live on a farm’.
‘There’ll be lots of big fields for Wout to run around aimlessly. He’ll be happier there’, said the former Ajax boss.
However, when an inconsolable Bruno Fernandes asked if the players could ever visit Weghorst, Ten Hag replied: ‘No, Bruno. The farm will be closed’.
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.
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