Man United defrosting ’99 Treble side ahead of FA Cup final

United getting increasingly desperate


Manchester United’s medical staff are working ‘around the clock’ to defrost their Treble-winning side of 1999 in time for their FA Cup final clash with rivals Manchester City.

Old Trafford bosses believe it’s their only chance of stopping City from emulating their historic feat with Pep Guardiola’s team eyeing a Treble of their own.

BARCELONA, SPAIN – MAY 26: Performers dance prior to the UEFA Champions League final between Manchester United and Bayern Munich at the Camp Nou on May 26, 1999 in Barcelona, Spain. (Photo by Etsuo Hara/Getty Images)

Leaked documents revealed that United’s Treble winners were cryogenically frozen at Sir Alex Ferguson’s behest shortly after their last-gasp victory over Bayern Munich in the 1999 Champions League final.

The Scot had stars including Jaap Stam and David Beckham frozen and replaced with lookalikes including actor Robert Knepper who filled in for Gary Neville at right-back.

The documents claim the heroes of Nou Camp would be thawed out by United when another English side threatened to repeat their unprecedented Treble success.

And with City just three victories away from doing so, Sir Alex has instructed United’s medical team to begin the defrosting process.

‘We cannae have them sportswashing b**tards doing the Treble’, Sir Alex told Paddy Power News.

‘Back when we done it in ’99, City were playing in League One and had more players on their books than fans’.

’Twenty-five years and a few billion quid later, they have more FFP charges than fans’, raged the 81-year-old.

Asked why he thought the time was right to bring his Treble-winners out of cold storage, Sir Alex said:

‘Have you seen the current mob? De Gea couldn’t catch a virus and Fred couldn’t pass wind after an enema’.

‘City have Grealish and Haaland up top. Who have we got? Antony the Brazilian fidget spinner and Wout Weghorst running about the pitch like a newborn foal on an ice rink’.

Quizzed on whether he thought United’s Treble-winning side would thaw out on time for the Wembley showpiece, the former Aberdeen boss said:

‘Yorkie’s still a bit frozen in the middle but the rest of the lads are making good progress’.

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.


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