Welcome to Wrexham: Top transfer targets for National League champs

Wrexham have made it back into the football league under their Hollywood owners - now it's time to add some star power on the pitch

By / Football News / 2 years ago

You’d have to have been living under a rock to not be aware of what is going on at Wrexham.

Promoted to League Two with over a hundred points, Hollywood A-List owners in Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney, celebrity supporters such as Paul Rudd appearing at the Racecource Ground, high profile signings like Ben Foster and ambitions to match that of any Hollywood blockbuster…. Not to mention some dazzling pre-season friendlies arranged against Man United and Chelsea in the states!

WREXHAM, WALES – APRIL 22: Ollie Palmer and Elliot Lee of Wrexham celebrate with the Vanarama National League trophy as Wrexham win the Vanarama National League and are promoted to the English Football League after victory in the Vanarama National League match between Wrexham and Boreham Wood at Racecourse Ground on April 22, 2023 in Wrexham, Wales. (Photo by Jan Kruger/Getty Images)

With news that Wales’s Euro 2016 hero Hal Robson-Kanu has asked to join the club, as well as the owners taking to social media to see what Gareth Bale is up to these days, Paddy Power News has decided to have our say on the star rating of potential future signings.

Erling Haaland

What do Man City have Wrexham don’t? The Norwegian goal-machine could drive Wrexham to the top table of English football – and without Pep stealing the limelight on the sideline.

Football rating – 5 star – He’s a beast who is only going to get better
Hollywood rating – 1 star – He has as much personality as a walnut

Harry Kane

Where is Kane likely to win a trophy first, Spurs or Wrexham? the League Two title has to be nailed on if Hazza signs.

Football rating – 5 star – Ryan Reynolds should definitely Tweet at him to sign up
Hollywood rating – 1 star – Too nice for Hollywood

 

Santiago Muñez

If ever there was a rag to riches tale, Muñez is it. He would bring all the best Hollywood attributes to the Racecourse Ground.

Football rating – 2 star – Could he do it on a wet Tuesday night in Stoke?
Hollywood rating – 5 star – He works that red carpet very well

Granit Xhaka

When Wrexham have a team full of celebrities, they will need an enforcer to protect them. Who better than the psychopath who took on armed robbers and won.

Football rating – 3 star – He won’t be needed for football, just protection
Hollywood rating – 3 star – They’re already calling him the next Vinnie Jones

TOPSHOT – Portugal’s forward Cristiano Ronaldo gives a thumbs up after the Euro 2016 final football match between Portugal and France at the Stade de France in Saint-Denis, north of Paris, on July 10, 2016. / AFP PHOTO / MIGUEL MEDINA (Photo credit should read MIGUEL MEDINA/AFP via Getty Images)

Cristiano Ronaldo

Wrexham surely has more to offer than Saudi Arabia, right? Maybe Reynolds could buy Cristiano his own Bengal tiger too. You’ve got to assume that wherever there is fame, fortune, and limelight to be had, Cristiano will be there. Not sure the fans would want Piers Morgan as a cheerleader though.

Football rating – 3 star – Still can deliver an angry arm wave at inferior teammates.
Hollywood rating – 5 star – He absolutely reeks of diva behavior

Deadpool

It is only a matter of time before we see the first football signing from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Deadpool has the attitude of Joey Barton, Robbie Savage and Richarlson, but whose skills does he possess? Maybe in 2028 when Wrexham begin to play their home fixtures at their new 200,000-seater LA stadium, is when Deadpool, Iron Man or Spider-Man will decide to put on the boots.

Football rating – 1 star – Unproven at this level
Hollywood rating – 5 star – Could he run the club and be the star player at the same time?

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