Next Spurs Manager: Will Still to take job once he’s tidied his room

You sure you're old enough to be a football manager, sonny?

Tottenham are understood to be caught in a stand-off with the parents of Reims manager Will Still, with rumours suggesting he will not be allowed to move to London until his bedroom is tidy.

According to Paddy Power sources, the young coach, who claims to be 30-years-old yet also has a part time job as a paper boy in his local village, will not be allowed out to play with his friends from Spurs unless he tidies his room, does his homework and stops spending so much time playing on his Xbox.

LILLE, FRANCE – JANUARY 02: Will Still, coach of Stade de Reims, reacts during the Ligue 1 Uber Eats match between Lille OSC and Stade de Reims at Stade Pierre Mauroy on January 2, 2023 in Lille, France. (Photo by Sylvain Lefevre/Getty Images)

“All the time he lives under their roof he has to abide by their rules,” confirmed a close friend of Still’s parents.

“He’s been through a bit of a growth spurt of late which has seen him attract the wrong kind of attention from the likes of West Ham, however his mum is keen for him to speak to the guys from Tottenham, but only if he behaves himself and stops acting out.

“He needs to stay off of TikTok, stop riding his e-scooter on busy roads and concentrate on getting his UEFA coaching licence,” continued the source.

Having made a name for himself by learning his managerial trade by playing Football Manager 24 hours per day instead of studying, Still has seen his Reims side beat the likes of Messi, Mbappe and co. at PSG, ultimately leading to several clubs looking to obtain his services.

A French football correspondent had this to say to UK media: “It’s quite simple really all you need to do is download the latest edition of Football Manager and play it constantly to become a top coach.

“Arsene Wenger mentioned it years ago but nobody paid much attention as it was during a time Arsenal were rubbish.

“We’ve been told that Chelsea have encouraged Frank Lampard to start playing with immediate effect, in order to improve his record, though Todd Boehly keeps jacking up the transfer budget and ruins every game.”

*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.

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