Speculation has been rife about what Seamus Coleman said to Tottenham captain Harry Kane during Everton’s 1-1 draw with Spurs on Monday night – til now.
The Everton skipper went full Ross-Kemp-celebrates-England-World-Cup-win in the direction of Kane’s head when the Tottenham man was flattened by an Abdoulaye Doucoure haymaker during the second half of their Premier League clash.
Well, it was more of a slap really, but big Harry sold it like a Tyson Fury uppercut.
Now, Paddy Power News has spoken to a lipreader who happened to be pitchside at Goodison Park and revealed exactly what the Toffees skipper screamed towards Kane’s scalp.
“He was clearly very upset,” our informed witness told us. “The speed he was talking at, how much phlegm he deposited on those around him , how far his eyes had popped out of his head – based on these I would say Seamus was angrier than than Ronaldo when someone says Messi’s better.”
And according to our source the the 34-year-old fullback didn’t hold back in what he said:
“Collapsing in a heap at the slightest adversity – they should make you Tottenham club captain for life, mate.”
“It’s the history of the Tottenham, innit?
“Honestly though, this is the the best acting performance I’ve seen since Declan Rice pretended to be Irish, well done.
“I mean, you clearly have a great future ahead of you – on the British Olympic diving team!”
“Did you hear that one, Amadou? I said he has a great future – on the Briti… ah f**k, he’s sent him off…”
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It was later suggested that Kane had in fact lost a contact lens and was looking very, very closely at the ground during Coleman’s harangue.
Though Everton played much of the second half a man short following the incident, they salvaged a point with a late wonderstrike by centre-half Michael Keane, whose body was temporarily possessed by the spirit of Tony Yeboah.
“I dunno what happened – one second I was thinking I’ve got to get it in the mixer, the next thing I’ve smashed it in the top corner”, the Toffees defender said after the game.
And reports suggest manager Sean Dyche took notice.
“Don’t be surprised if Michael’s up-front this weekend. He can’t be any worse than what we’ve got,” a source said.
Meanwhile, for Spurs, it was another slip-up in their pursuit of the top-4, but the mood remained upbeat within the visiting dressing room despite the late equaliser.
“At least we don’t have to listen to Conte after this,” one staff member said. “Just getting rid of him feels like a trophy.”
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 110% nonsense and that’s the truth. Honest.
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