Breaking: Harry Kane adds #OpenToWork to LinkedIn profile pic

Time to go and win something


England captain Harry Kane has added the #OpenToWork image to his LinkedIn profile in a bid to find a new club ahead of next season.

Having been knocked out of the Champions League and FA Cup in recent weeks, Spurs find themselves trophyless for the fifteenth year in a row, forcing Kane to take matters into his own hands by updating his professional network in a bid to secure a move to an employer who can offer him silverware in the future, as well as a company credit card and more annual leave.

Harry Kane, Spurs, January 2023

“He’s an ambitious guy with lots of experience and would be an asset to any company he joins,” confirmed a local recruitment consultant.

“Harry came in to see us a few weeks ago asking what the job market is like and we advised that the best place to begin his job search is via his own LinkedIn channel where he needs to make sure his job history and current role is completely up to date and start connecting with different industry leaders.

“Every day we see thousands of IT consultants, sales directors and marketing executives find new roles via LinkedIn and footballers are no different.

“We advised Wout Weghorst to add #OpenToWork on his page before he signed for United, so we know it works,” continued the consultant.

Although reports suggest that Kane, who has been continually linked with a big money move to Manchester United, removed himself from a Whatsapp group created by Erik ten Hag following United’s 7-0 defeat at Liverpool.

ARNHEM, NETHERLANDS – MAY 15: AFC Ajax Head Coach / Manager, Erik ten Hag looks on prior to the Dutch Eredivisie match between Vitesse and Ajax Amsterdam held at Gelredome on May 15, 2022 in Arnhem, Netherlands. (Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images)

The group, that once consisted of Darwin Nunez and Cody Gakpo, has now lost its final participant in Kane, leaving ten Hag alone, pondering if he should add Anthony Martial to the chat.

Elsewhere in Manchester, Pep Guardiola is said to be in the bad books with his wife after receiving a 3am text saying, “I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes”.

Despite Pep pleading his innocence, a source close to the family has confirmed Mrs Guardiola is “a little irritated” as this isn’t the first time a late-night love text from somebody called Harry has appeared in Pep’s inbox.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 110% nonsense and that’s the truth. Honest.



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