All future FA Cup games will be streamed on Pornhub, Paddy Power News can exclusively reveal.
It follows an incident during last night’s televised coverage of the third round replay between Wolves and Liverpool at Molineux.
🗣️ Gary Lineker: “Harvey Elliott’s goal was a screamer… which isn’t the only one we’ve had tonight” pic.twitter.com/wJJAohpk4e
— ODDSbible (@ODDSbible) January 17, 2023
The BBC was inundated with thousands of viewer compliments when the dull pre-match opinions of pundit Danny Murphy were drowned out by the screams of a woman in the throes of pleasure.
It’s believed the noises came from presenter Gary Lineker’s phone after he opened a WhatsApp message from his brother.
In the wake of the incident, football fans deemed the groaning preferable to the inane ramblings of the Match of the Day pundits and demanded it become a permanent feature.
And, following late-night discussions, the FA confirmed it was terminating its existing deal with BBC and ITV to make it happen.
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‘We are proud to announce all future FA Cup games will be available to stream exclusively on Pornhub,’ a statement read.
‘New features include being able to silence your least-favourite pundits with the moans of your choice’.
‘Our new streaming partners will bring you all the action via their brand-new category, ‘Two Girls, One FA Cup’.
‘Subcategories will include:
- ‘Amateur’ – non-league Boreham Wood keep their FA Cup dream alive with a third round replay at Accrington Stanley.
- ‘Cheerleader’ – Todd Boehly tries to motivate his Chelsea side as they lose 4-0 against Man City at the Etihad.
- ‘Redhead Spanked’ – David Moyes’s West Ham suffer a humiliating 3-0 defeat to League One Derby County.
‘Best of all, the next time you get caught on the site, you can say “relax mum, it’s only the football”‘.
Meanwhile, Paddy Power News understands the British Broadcasting Company is considering changing its name as the fallout from last night’s events.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 110% nonsense
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