Over the past 48 hours a local bricklaying firm has been building a wall at the Tottenham Hotspur stadium at the request of Spurs boss Antonio Conte.
Sanctioned by Daniel Levy following the request from Conte, the £900 wall has been purpose built around the outside of the dugout and technical area of the away-team, to ensure Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta stays within his designated lines during the North London derby.
“Arteta constantly throwing his arms in the air at every single decision and hassling the fourth official, leaving the technical area as much as possible.
“I swear, even when he’s having a quiet moment, he still stands one-yard outside of his area, just to be a twat. Well not this weekend,” said a source close to Conte.
“This 5ft wall has a base of concrete blocks with common bricks on top. Despite looking the part, we’ve been told the base isn’t very solid at all.
“A strong gust of wind could knock it over, but that’s Levy for you.”
“Didn’t want to pay a proper firm for a proper job” concluded the source.
Paddy Power News understands the £900 cash-in-hand fee to the builder has come directly out of Conte’s transfer budget leaving him with exactly £600 to spend on players in January.
And the summer, probably.
Elsewhere in North London, Arsenal supporters have been left confused by reports of an imminent transfer for Shakhtar winger Mykhailo Mudryk – to Man City.
Despite being long-time favourites to sign the Ukrainian international, it is understood the 22-year-old will need to spend two years as a fringe player under Pep Guardiola at City before Arsenal are allowed to sign him, just to align with their recent transfer strategy.
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However, all is not lost for Gunners fans, with Emile Smith-Rowe on the verge of returning to full fitness and rumours coming from the Emirates claim that due to being out for so long, Smith-Rowe had initially been asked to grow his hair and change his name to Mudryk in hope the fans would believe it is a new signing.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 110% nonsense – if you believe it we’ve a 37-year-old striker on £173m-a-year to sell you
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