The World Cup’s gone and that means it’s time to re-wrap last year’s Lynx gift set from gran and pass it on to someone else.
Hard to believe, but in just a matter of days we’ll be telling our loved ones they can exchange that if it doesn’t fit while trying to remember where we put the receipt.
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And Premier League managers, just like you and I, have been dropping hints and conveniently mentioning things they might like to find wrapped up under their tree come the big day too.
So here, from top to bottom, is what each top-flight gaffer is hoping to unwrap this Sunday morning…
1 – Mikel Arteta
Alongside his traditional barrelful of Just For Men, all the Arsenal gaffer wants is a card from the Premier League stating: “League over, you’re the champions, see you in August 2023”.
2 – Pep Guardiola
A vial of Lionel Messi’s DNA, which will be used to grow a replica of the Argentine in Man City’s Dubai Sportlab in time for the Champions League final.
3 – Eddie Howe
Absolutely nothing because the Newcastle boss wants to be judged on his own merits and abilities, and certainly does not require, say, millions upon millions of pounds to be spent on more players to show what a fantastic manager he is.
4 – Antonio Conte
A rubber-stamp of Daniel Levy’s signature.
5 – Erik Ten Hag
An office refit after Ronaldo wrecked the place when the United boss suggested he might be better used off the bench. Not sure the Glazers will pay for it though.
6 – Jurgen Klopp
Pep Lijnders’ book on how to get Liverpool playing again.
7 – Roberto de Zerbi
An underground basement for Alexis Mac Allister to stop another club taking him in January,
8 – Graham Potter
An all-star game! Penalty shoot-outs after draws! Ad breaks before corners! And whatever the latest brainfart from Todd Boehly happens to be. Though definitely not Ronaldo.
9 – Marco Silva
A pinch to make sure he’s not dreaming – Fulham really aren’t getting relegated?!
10 – Thomas Frank
A very useful off-brand appliance from the middle aisle in Aldi that does just as good a job – if not better – than the much more expensive version.
11 – Patrick Vieira
Dinner with Roy Keane. Pizza will not be on the menu.
12 – Unai Emery
The new Villa boss only wants one thing: to express his gratitude to Steven Gerrard for mismanaging a decent side so thoroughly.
13 – Brendan Rodgers
A framed, signed photo of Brendan Rodgers to add to the collection.
14 – Gary O’Neil
A recording of Scott Parker’s early season teamtalks to remind the players how sh*te it was whenever their form dips.
15 – Jesse Marsch
An English-American phrasebook.
16 – David Moyes
Multiple copies of “West Ham’s Greatest European Performances” DVD to give to the board if results don’t improve.
17 – Frank Lampard
The players to have a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror, yeah?
18 – Steve Cooper
Doesn’t want anything for Christmas, but wouldn’t mind 17 or 18 new players in January.
19 – Nathan Jones
Not to lose 9-0 too soon in his tenure.
20 – Julen Lopetegui
A Rosetta Stone course in Portuguese.,
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 110% nonsense
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