Chaos has spread through airports in Qatar where thousands of locals have been snapping up one-way tickets to Manchester in a bid to make it to England on the promise of frequent, well-paid work.
Following the news that Manchester City will increase their stadium capacity to 60,000, a vast number of civilians who are currently employed to fill seats at the Qatar World Cup have decided to move to England to pretend to be Man City supporters.
“In the rent-a-crowd game we can’t be picky as there isn’t such thing as a steady paycheque – we just turn up where we are needed, and City sure as f**k need us now,” explained a man waiting to board his flight to the UK.
“One week you could be at the birthday party of a social media influencer trying to make themselves seem more popular, the next you’re at a World Cup match pretending to be an England fan, absolutely butchering Three Lions cos you only had 20 minutes to learn the words.
“It’s a tough hustle but you’ve got to pay the bills somehow.”
“Plus, we know City have loads of money and an empty stadium, so here we come.”
Despite no official confirmation on when the additional seating could be added, travellers remain upbeat about the rewards as a paid extra for Manchester City, which employs over 50,000 part-time and full-time actors across Manchester, Stockport, and New York to pretend they’re City fans.
“Several of our friends made this journey in 2008 when Sheikh Mansour took over City and it honestly changed their lives forever.
“They got in on the ground floor when the club has minimal fans and even less dignity, which meant everyone was handed lucrative full-time contracts with the club – they were delighted to have more than one man and his dog at League Cup games,” confirmed a 46-year-old lady looking for a fresh challenge in her career.
“I’ve seen a copy of the contract which on top of their annual income includes What’s The Story (Morning Glory) on CD, a signed Dierdre Barlow poster, a free Parka jacket, 13 different hot pot recipes and a meet and greet with local legend Sacha Lord. I can’t wait to get started,” she concluded.
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Despite Manchester City on the cusp of doubling their global fanbase overnight, Paddy Power News spoke to one die-hard supporter who had this to say.
“They pulled a stunt like this a few years ago when I saw posters around the town asking for actors and extras to come along and get paid to watch the team.
“Half of those who showed up had no idea what was going on and faced the wrong way for most of the game. Luckily for City, the PR team put a nice spin on it and called it a Poznan.”
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 110% nonsense
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