Breaking: Red Bull F1 team contact Man City for financial advice

Vroom! Right past the rules and regs

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Following the news that the F1 Red Bull team has allegedly breached Formula 1’s financial rules, it is understood the team has contacted Manchester City Football Club for some expert opinion on navigating past any possible punishment.

With nervous anticipation surrounding the outcome of the allegations which could ultimately lead to reviews of Max Verstappen’s Drivers Championship success as well as heavy penalties, Red Bull chiefs took to Google to search previous cases in which major sporting organisations got off despite allegations of breaching their sport’s financial rules.

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA – MARCH 16: Max Verstappen of the Netherlands driving the (33) Aston Martin Red Bull Racing RB15 on track during final practice for the F1 Grand Prix of Australia at Melbourne Grand Prix Circuit on March 16, 2019 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Mark Thompson/Getty Images)

“Man City and alleged breaches of financial fair-play rules seem to go hand-in-hand as they came top in every single search relating to getting away with it, so we’ve reached out to them for some guidance,” confirmed a source close to the Red Bull team.

“While we strongly deny any wrongdoing, we also want to apologise as it wasn’t our fault, it was an accident, we were tricked into it, our alarm didn’t go off even though we set it, everyone else was doing it too, and the dog ate our homework.”

When contacted for comment on possible consultations, Man City officials refused to be drawn, beyond saying that they know some very good lawyers and could recommend them in exchange for a truckload of Red Bull.

“Imagine Erling Haaland… with wings!” a club source said.

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Our club source also said the news won’t distract the club from an important weekend showdown against relegation dogfighters Liverpool this weekend.

“It’s always difficult facing sides down the bottom as they tend to up their game against the bigger clubs and fight to the death for every single ball,” a Man City source explained.

“Pep is not taking the opposition for granted, that’s for sure.”

“He knows with the likes of Leicester and Forest picking up points recently, every single point counts for Klopp and his players. We will show respect to Liverpool as we do Aston Villa, Bournemouth and Wolves, but ultimately expect Erling to rip them to shreds over the course of the match.”

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – MARCH 12: Josep Guardiola, Manager of Manchester City gives his team instructions during the UEFA Champions League Round of 16 Second Leg match between Manchester City v FC Schalke 04 at Etihad Stadium on March 12, 2019 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)

Team news coming from Anfield is that Virgil Van Dijk, Andy Robertson and Joe Gomez have joined Trent Alexader-Arnold and Joel Matip on the injury list.

Despite no indications of pulled muscles or any type of strain, medical staff believe the fear of facing Haaland is the primary factor in the entire Liverpool back line unwilling to put their boots on.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is just complete nonsense, every word of it. Honest.

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