Manchester United have renamed the club’s Carrington medical facility in honour of their perennially injured striker Anthony Martial.
The 26-year-old has been a stalwart in the United treatment room since joining the club in September 2015.
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With the Frenchman set to miss Sunday’s Manchester derby with yet another knock, the club decided to pay homage to the forward.
The former Monaco star was present at the opening of the new ‘Tony Martial Treatment Centre for Kids That Don’t Heal Too Good’ at Carrington this morning.
Old Trafford chiefs even commissioned a bronze sculpting of Martial being massaged by a physio for the grand unveiling.
Also in attendance was Phil Jones, who was awarded a testimonial by the club following 10-years of dedicated service to medical science.
The only negative on an otherwise joyous occasion occurred when Martial dislocated his wrist while cutting a ceremonial ribbon with scissors.
‘Of all the crocks we’ve had down the years: Owen Hargreaves; Phil Jones; Paul Pogba – Tony’s right up there with the most unreliable’, club CEO Richard Arnold told Paddy Power News.
‘He’s had so many rubs, the physios have nicknamed him ‘Aladdin’s Lamp’.
‘It’s fitting we name the club’s medical facility ‘The Tony Martial Treatment Centre for Kids That Don’t Heal Too Good’ to show our respect for the number of games he’s missed through injury’.
Martial, who’s been restricted to one appearance this season as a result of a dislocated nostril hair, said he was humbled by the club’s gesture.
‘This is a tremendous honour’, he said, before tripping over his own feet and rupturing his Achilles tendon.
‘I’d like to dedicate this achievement to all those players out there who wear gloves in October and never have a single grass stain on their shorts at the full-time whistle.’
‘To all the fans, I hope to see you next pre-season. When I’ll play like prime Brazilian Ronaldo, luring you into a false sense of hope that it might be the year I finally fulfil my potential, before suffering my latest injury setback and missing the start of the season’.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is just complete nonsense, every word of it. Honest.
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