Former Everton favourites Thomas Gravesen and Lee Carsley have been unveiled as brand ambassadors for the club’s first Official Hair Transplant Partner.
The follicly challenged duo forged a formidable partnership in the heart of the Toffees’ midfield during the mid-noughties and now the pair have teamed up again to tackle male pattern baldness.
Parading their new luscious long locks, Gravesen and Carsley told Paddy Power News about their experiences of being a bald Premier League player in an era of Alice bands.
Welcoming our first Official Hair Transplant Partner to the Everton family. 🔵 pic.twitter.com/18X46d85YB
— Everton (@Everton) September 22, 2022
‘Every time we stepped on the pitch, we could hear the Right Said Fred chants’, wept Gravesen.
‘I don’t know what hurt the most. The fans’ baldist attitudes or being compared to a band that made such sh*te music. Probably the latter, in fairness’, said the Dane.
‘It was hard to watch people like Robbie Savage’, admitted Carsley.
‘Nothing to do with his long hair. He was just absolutely sh*te.’
‘I was jealous of the likes of Ginola and McAteer who were doing shampoo ads at the time.’
‘I feel like I lost out on a lot of lucrative deals because of my baldness.
‘On the plus side, I had zero dandruff problems’, revealed the 48-year-old.
But thanks to Everton’s new link-up with a Turkish clinic, both men say those problems are now firmly in the past.
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‘Jason Momoa has been asking me for hair tips lately’, said Gravesen while sliding off a bobble to unfurl a mane of golden shoulder length hair.
Meanwhile, the Merseyside club are offering ‘50% off’ to all balding male season ticket holders, after taking full responsibility for their supporter’s receding hairlines.
‘Everton Football Club would like to offer any fan who experienced premature hair loss while watching our games a half-price hair transplant’, read a club statement.
‘We would like to offer a further 25% discount plus a set of Turkey teeth to anyone particularly affected during Rafa Benitez’s era’.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is complete nonsense, every word of it. Honest.
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